Emery Miller

“Burps are just farts that come out the other end.”

“Pretty soon, I won’t be shopping at The Children’s Place anymore. I have to find a tween shop.”

“Can you have your birthday party at @claires? Claire’s is a girl’s dream come true!”

"I want to have a little boy and name him Casper, but the thing is, that's a weird name for an old man, so..."

"In heaven, I won't get sore from dancing?! HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH!"

"Deck the halls with physical therapy Falalalalalala My Aunt Tiffany just had surgery Falalalalalala" #NewXmasCarols

"I want my hair to go down past my butt. Well actually, I don't, because if I farted, it would go into my hair and make it stink." 💨

"Ugh. Why do I have to be so popular in 4th grade?! Boys are fighting over me again..."

"In swimming, why do the boys wear panties?"

"Dad, are you sure you don't want company in your bed tonight? Well if you get scared, just let me know!"

"Dad, I need a man that looks like you: shiny black hair, hairy arms, dirty feet, and most of all - wears skinny jeans."

"Is that some sort of granny motorcycle?"

"Addy, blowing up balloons is hard. I've been doing it since I was like 5."

"What?! @AdalynMicah said we should clean our room nakedly. It was her idea."

"Do doggies marry their brothers & sisters or do they just go into labor after licking each other?"

"I wish there was an Emery Appreciation Day each year."

"For homework I have to rhyme words. The first word is garden. Does fartin' rhyme with garden?"

"I'm NEVER gonna have a boyfriend...yet."

"We're staying in the mountains for the week? That's going to be difficult. There's no internet."