QQTs

At least one of the reasons i'm so strongly outspoken about social issues now is because 10 years ago i used to be part of a typical bro friend group. The way we talked was rarely outright hateful but absolutely laced with casual misogyny. Seeing women at least subconsciously as the lesser gender and things like using gay and the german f-slur as synonyms for unmanly and undesired behavior. If you had asked us if we were sexist or homophobic we'd all have denied it and excused it as "Harmless jokes". Although we totally upheld the system that a few steps further up gets really nasty, dangerous and violent really quickly. I said bullshit i'd now call someone out for. I had not ever thought about trans people, but i have a suspicion that current me would like to punch past me in the face for the dumb shit that i would have blabbered out in an attempt to make up a cool sounding opinion on the spot, that proves my manhood. I slowly left that friend group cus i no longer felt like i belonged in it. The active reflection on why i felt that way only came later. I know what it's like to be a stereotypical straight cis man that could have just continued, because the patriarchy protects and even encourages this grunt behavior. That went along out of peer pressure and never actually did some introspection on whether all this aligns with his deeply held views or how it affects others. Just pathetic, unreflected behavior out of some miserable interpretation of self preservation. That's why i can point this out so clearly now. That's why i care so much. I've been there. I know how much societal pressures can keep you in your lane. And how exposing myself to other viewpoints chipped away at this enough to start questioning my own behavior. How freeing that is. I wanna be one of those viewpoints. A point of friction in the Apex/FPS space. If i can push even a few people onto their journey towards being a kinder and more considerable human then all the pandering and virtue signaling i get accused of was worth it.