Jen Corelli

"I would make a good magician's assistant because I heard they were all gorgeous"

OMG MY NEIGHBOUR WON'T STOP PLAYING THE BONGOS AND IT'S NOT OKAY.

@princeDCF #sundaynightritual

Just saw a toddler sitting in a box eating an ice cream at Ikea. If you're looking for my ovaries, you can find them at the pick up exit.

I'm bringing back the side bun @aE22 @ashleyapps. Thought that Twitter was the appropriate place to notify you of this.

My neighbour is hosting a drum circle. Someone please put me out of my misery.

YAAASSSSSS!! @liztrinnear @BarreworksTO

Your dog head butting you is the least cool way to get a black eye. So I've heard. From a friend.

I go to Ikea for the affordable S̶c̶a̶n̶d̶i̶n̶a̶v̶i̶a̶n̶ ̶m̶o̶d̶e̶r̶n̶ ̶s̶t̶y̶l̶e̶ ̶f̶u̶r̶n̶i̶t̶u̶r̶e̶ ̶& ̶a̶c̶c̶e̶s̶s̶o̶r̶i̶e̶s̶ hotdogs.

Would it be the end of the world if @adamlevine wore a jacket that actually fits him?

No. But, really.

I'd like a pizza delivery, please. Thin crust. Well done. Thank you.

Currently, my only source of heat is my dog licking my feet. Oh, and it's AUGUST, btw.

They weren't lying. The moon is really super, guys.

You only get Macho Man Randy Savage quotes, @caruthless.

@LauraSpumoni you can also hire a spray tanner to come to your office, FYI. #saveyourskin

It finally happened!! One of my stitches made it onto BuzzFeed. Thanks for writing hilarious lyrics @Drake buzzfeed.com/tanyachen/creep…