Vallen Rickert (@ValRickert) header
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Vallen Rickert

@ValRickert
Joined December 2013
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  • Followers18
Me: Happy Birthday!! Now 2-year-old: CAKE!!!
Cauliflower can do everything.
Vallen Rickert retweeted
Ames Police (@AmesPolice) profile picture
Ames Police@AmesPolice25 Jan 2021
Take this seriously everyone, we are in for some major snow. 7-12 inches possible as heavy bands of snow enter the area. Stay in and off the roads if possible. Move cars off snow routes. Be safe all!
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Me pouring a glass of wine from my box wine. 5yo: Wow! Your wine has a faucet!! Me: 馃槼
Me: Tomorrow we have to go for a walk. Because I'm eating 6 egg rolls.
Me: Tomorrow we need to get you some new shoes. Z: Mom, I will only get them if they have sequins or glitter. *Priorities*
Z: I'll forgive you, this time. But only 25%.
My son now refers to my purse as "The Snack Bag."
Mom hack #72: Put candy in your travel mug. Kids think you're drinking coffee, then when they aren't looking sneak a treat.
Vallen Rickert retweeted
Wrickert (@wrickert7) profile picture
Wrickert@wrickert727 Jan 2020
It will never happen but that would be so nice!
hero of kvatch (@thisiscaramore) profile picturehero of kvatch@thisiscaramore23 Jan 2020
I want her so fucking much
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Me: Good morning, Z. Z: You're 31 now. Me: You know, people usually start off by saying "Happy Birthday." Z: Why? #my5yearold #facts
I am the past tense of drink.
Marry a man that throws whip cream at you. Then throw whip cream back!
Me: Are you a twin? My 3yo: No. Because your butt is big.
3-year-old: Can I have a treat? I didn't pee on the floor. Me: How considerate of you.
*While waking up my 4-year-old at 7am* Me: Good morning! 4: No.
Me: It's 6 am. Them: *being as loud as humanly possible* Me: It's 6 am. Them: So? I have to remind myself that I chose this...
Eliot: Why do you drink coffee? Me: Because three tiny humans need me in order to survive. The coffee ensures that happens. Eliot: Oh. What happens if you don't drink coffee? Me: Not good things. Eliot: Like vampires? *Lifts my mug to my kid* Me: Like Vampires.
My 3-year-old has a cold. Me: There's a frog in your throat, huh? 3: *Hoarsely* Can you take it out, please?
*Loud Crash!* 4-year-old: "Well I guess that's broken now." I was not prepared for parenting.
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