@14Myards

how many tears in a bottle of gin. she/her

 Berkeley, CA
Joined December 2008
  • Tweets51.6K
  • Following1K
  • Followers449
2.3KMedia
Highly recommend drinking half a carafe of wine and watching Wicker
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I tried again to get it I can't even pay out of pocket for it. My spouse gets shingles and fuck that I don't want that
roxy demento@falseroxyOct 19
can one of my medical hotties explain why i'm not allowed to have the shingles vaccine until i'm 50? i want a shingles vaccine the way some women want a birkin
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This is redundant all pierogi are sensual
powerful wizerd@powerfulwizerdSep 11
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The kids wishes for new year yall A jet pack The messiah Family
Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani
@NYCMayorSep 11
Shanah Tovah, New York! Wishing all Jewish New Yorkers celebrating a sweet, joyful, and meaningful Rosh Hashanah. Here’s to a new year filled with health, happiness, and blessings (and yes, even another Knicks championship).
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Weeping at the drag show because there was a spot on Dolly Parton impression and it reminded me of my aunt who died
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Our terrible neighbour who is part of the reason we are moving says that I caused him trauma by picking my nose and that my spouse should talk to me about it
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Our honeymoon in Ireland which I planned to include the most intense and complicated tours I could find
Jenson Puffin ہائدی 🐦‍⬛🎀@MissOoo1gAug 30
This is the most relatable video to me. Sorry we cannot travel to historic places unless you want history facts so strap in for the tour
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Smugly saying "uh yeah, of course it's a cover" like I didn't also learn that information like 9 years ago
Katels33
@katels33Aug 29
1997. Natalie Imbruglia’s cover of ‘Torn’. A cultural phenomenon. Hairdressers inundated with requests for pixie cuts. Cargo trouser sales soared. MTV had it on repeat. Guess you had to be there! @notgwendalupe @8090Throwbacks @Phil3Pan @UKBackintheDay2
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Literally every time I leave the house holding my light sweater I say this to myself
Jordan Fish@jwordfishAug 29
This is so true it’s mind blowing
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baboon wife retweeted
sami 👼@dronkenduifjeAug 28
song so good that i unvaccinated myself
giovanni@chosmiaAug 25
il fatto che questo video contenga solo donne che guidano mentre gli uomini fanno da cheerleader in supporto del movimento delle donne al volante in arabia saudita lo rende il contenuto più gangster di sempre
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Ok but why does my water heater need an app?
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Wicker is giving captain Janeway "delete wife" I will not be elaborating further
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On the whole I like major league cricket aside from my general dislike of T20 cricket but they're calling 6s maximums and I hate it so much
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Mums bank can't accept checks anymore, I asked if there was mobile deposit and nope you have to go to the post office who will deposit the check (or cheque I suppose) into your bank account
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Also a lot of you are lactose intolerant and refuse to admit it
roxy demento@falseroxyJul 15
i think people who say they get diarrhea from taco bell probably have like, zero fiber in their regular diets and eating a bean is like an intestinal 9/11 every time.
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Statistically how many funerals do you think end with an ambulance being called?
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Perhaps a dumb question but it's my first time in Brisbane, do the noisy miners sound different in Queensland?
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And by "first time in Brisbane" I mean i spent three hours at the skygate mall because I missed my connecting flight and the lady at the information desk said there was a free shuttle
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I like the baggage scanners that look like plane engines. It's fun
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All immigration at airports is like "welcome to our beautiful country! Here's the worst room we have. No the air conditioning doesn't work"
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