also i discovered a 15 year old gmail account that has gone completely untouched because someone tried to reset the password on it and i got an email about it. "mileycyrusfan".
also also i JUST realized i made this gmail account a month after my mom died. neat!
got stremio cuz i wanted to watch tonights severance episode but apple tv wouldn't let me make another new account for the free trial 🏴☠️
when i was in preschool adults would talk about “potty train” and there was a little fake wooden train you could sit in and i was like “ah, this must be it, the potty train.”
i can genuinely never tell if people actually want me around or if they're too polite to tell me they don't like me & my brain latches onto it and convinces me its the latter
anyway last night i had a dream i worked at a cvs and one of the job assignments was to push this really fluffy puppy (think hasanabi’s kaya but black and tan) on a swing while he sat in a basket and his name was like. tumbledown tumbledown. not that exactly but something similar
also semi-related but i despise parents who choose to be absent. i hate their fucking guts. i get it if u can’t be a parent and give up a kid for adoption or terminate parental rights when they’re an infant, but if u had a kid and abandoned them i hate you.
i never told any1 but one of the reasons i was so desperate to go back to working for walmart was cuz one of the older ladies i got close with called herself my mom once when i was having a really hard time. she and i worked closings and were the last few people there besides
the team lead on duty often. she didn’t know about the whole dead parents thing so i doubt she knew it would affect me this much but yeah. idk. mommy issues. feels like if any of my female hs teachers i had an attachment to said that to me.
i slept for like 11 hours on yesterday and woke up at noon with a lil vertigo n then atfer only being awake for a few hours i was so tired i was trying not to pass out at my desk n the vertigo got worse so i laid down n was just. out for like 6 hours