For four years the touchscreens were sacred. Then they met a Democrat with fat fingers. (Some) Democrats just discovered tinfoil hats come in blue.

Why are Texas Democrats suddenly offended by a pamphlet explaining trans ideology? Five minutes ago they loved these ideas.

Who’s gonna win Texas ?

The joke works because it has a grain of truth in it.

In my humble opinion (and the opinion of thousands of others), the facts tell a very different story than her delayed allegations.

My liberal friends — yes, I have them — have been telling me for months that Republican concerns about Sharia law are overblown. Is there an example anywhere in Texas of Sharia law being used to override American law and do harm? Well, I found it. Specifically, I found it at Texas patriot Tony Buzbee’s wedding. The time: July 2021. The place: Moody Gardens, Galveston. I was seated for dinner across from someone I had not expected to share a roll basket with: Mohammad Ali Choudhri, a Houston real estate developer worth at least nine figures. I told him I was with the media — I’m a talk radio host and half of the Walton and Johnson Show. He did not look delighted. Sitting next to a stranger at a wedding is always like spinning a roulette wheel, and they treated me like I was double-zero. Later I learned why Choudhri would be skeptical of chatting with someone who talks into a microphone for a living. Wayne Dolcefino, the former Channel 13 investigative reporter who now runs his own investigative firm, has been investigating Choudhri for years. He even sued Dolcefino over his reporting. Choudhri has been involved in all sorts of swirling scandals involving his businesses and, bizarrely, a relationship with former civil district judge Brittanye Morris. But here’s the part that involves Sharia: His divorce. Choudhri has lived in Houston since he was three. In 2008 he traveled to Pakistan for an arranged marriage. He was about 28. His wife-to-be, Hira Azhar, was 18. She joined him here in 2010. During the marriage they accumulated more than $100 million in community assets — Texas law’s way of saying what a couple builds together is not necessarily a solo prize. In 2012 he sent her back to Pakistan, ostensibly to deal with a visa. The Texas Supreme Court would later describe what happened as a “ruse.” In 2013, while she was still there, he divorced her without her knowledge. The mechanism was talaq, a form of unilateral divorce under Islamic law. That’s right: Sharia was afoot. Azhar was not served with the proceeding and did not participate in it. Notice appeared for five days in a Pakistani newspaper she never saw. She learned she had been divorced two years later. Azhar returned to Houston in 2015 and filed in Harris County. She wanted a divorce under Texas law and a fair division of the marital estate. A Houston trial court said no. Pakistan had already acted, and the court recognized that judgment under comity — the courtesy courts sometimes extend to foreign judgments. Think of it as like dying in the Matrix: If you get married or divorced anywhere else in the world, it happens in real life. Click the link in the comments to read the full story.

Newly released text messages and a problematic prosecutor show sings the Cornell 7 story isn't going away anytime soon.

Celebrity psychedelic camp, Gavin Newsom's Islamic holiday, moms killing their kids xitter.cf/i/broadcasts/1nxeLMvdz…

Fort Worth!! Get tickets: tr.ee/6Zx5fmcf2Q

Come see us this weekend in Alabama & Florida xitter.cf/i/broadcasts/1DxLdZkop…

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Foley, Alabama & Fort Walton Beach this weekend xitter.cf/i/broadcasts/1OGwbnODW…

Come see me perform in Foley, Alabama and Fort Walton Beach, Florida this weekend! Get tickets: jesseisfunny.com/#anchor2

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Remember all the outrage after the HHS Secretary discouraged pregnant women from taking Tylenol? Turns out he was probably right.

In case y’all were wondering, our silly little standup comedy show brought in about $70,000 this weekend for disabled military veterans. Special thanks to Todd Archer from Archer Kia, Field Trash Apparel, The Howells, Ann & Peter Perez, Steve & Christine Johnson, Kenny Duncan jr at US Coins, and everyone who attended. 100% of your donation will go towards providing a custom wheelchair to an American hero. Extra special thanks to all the comics! Christian Alexander, May Gayton, Nathaniel Amador, Srsly Melissa, Harrison Loftin, Jordan Cavarubbio, and Darius G! As always, you can support this great cause at WheelchairsForWarriors.org

This Sunday - our most important comedy show of the year! Help us raise money for disabled military vets. Almost sold out! givebutter.com/operation-com…

6 days until Operation Comedy Therapy! xitter.cf/i/broadcasts/1DxLdZeYZ…

Labor Day weekend is coming up soon! Reserve your tickets now. Click the link in the comments