I AM RAGHAV

Ok but how do we know Penis CK isn’t just a Martin Urbano character

I must confess that my father paid $40k in bitcoin, so I could be accepted into the School of Hard Knocks

It sucks that you can't plead insanity anywhere besides a court room

Me: I think Todd hates me. Well, I hate Todd. Fuck him. *Todd likes single Instagram post* Me: Todd is a light in this grim hellscape we live inside. I marvel at our blossoming friendship and look forward to the years of mirth and camaraderie to come. Praise Todd.

A lot of otherwise smart people can have really dumb political beliefs and it’s because they over-personalize politics opposed to seeing a policy helps the broader public and I’m just glad I don’t do this. Anyway, I think my aunt should be President.

When I was 9 my parents picked me up after school in a U-Haul van and told me we were moving and never gave an explanation. During my teens I was convinced my dad was on the run from the law but later I realized he's just an impulsive weirdo who really wanted to live in Baltimore

“Good to be here!” -Me during sex

Was watching an old Nirvana concert they did in Argentina and thought it seemed especially angsty and so I looked up background and goddamn Cobain ruled

I have been listening to so much Nirvana again lately and I'm starting to think this Kurt Cobain fella had some issues

Brandy Jensen is good and this is what academics call *checks scribe of notes* extremely fricken good

A girl asked me out and that was nice but then I found out she worked for Goldman Sachs and I suppose this is how women on dates feel all the time

Do bisexual polar bears identify as Bi Polar?

Fuck class, race and gender. Let’s talk about “Had Good Parents” privilege.

Ilhan rules so fucking hard