Jeph the Giant Ginge

So, I set up my new Alexa to respond to "Computer..." I didn't think about it until I turned on Star Trek, and - halfway through the episode - my house fired a spread of photon torpedoes into our neighbors' garage. This note is to say sorry again about your truck, Kevin.

I'm not surprised that the superrich are corrupt, venal, and malicious. I am disappointed in how _utterly boring_ they are. All I'm saying is: If I had access to Bezos money, his amorality, and distribution, I would ship every person in America 3 kazoos and a vervet monkey.

Class all around.

Ok. Obviously, Secretary Hegseth's speech -was- rambling, incoherent, and spectacularly inappropriate. But - to be fair - he had accidentally texted his only copy of the speech to a reporter at the Daily Bugle last night.

This is just basically a Mad Magazine Spy vs. Spy comic at this point.

The sheer wasted opportunity of this. His supporters don't care if this is true, his detractors assume it's not . Perfect scenario for the American artform of bullshit. Bust out "I invented tacos and the concept of naps. You're welcome." Instead, this banal and uninspired lie.

Bombing an apartment complex? Who does the VVS think they are, the Philadelphia Police?

Comparing the positive contributions of recent deaths. Redford: Elevated the world by imbuing his art with a humanity and beauty that raised the soul of any and all who viewed it. Charitable and Kind. Kirk: Uhh... Does becoming fertilizer count?

Written in 2016, but no less current almost a decade later. Might be time for @MagsVisaggs to update the part about "We have thankfully not yet elected our own Smiler." Even 2016 was too optimistic to countenance the existence of the couchfucker. pastemagazine.com/comics/tra…

VA hospital appointments are a fine reminder of the irony that no group vocally hates the idea of participation trophies more than Vietnam vets. They are also not fans of having this irony pointed out.

Realized that I find Peter Falk's Columbo quite relatable, as I -also- solve most of my problems by being so consistently aggravating that people eventually find the prospect of being dragged away in handcuffs preferable to enduring even 30 seconds of further interaction with me.

I just made a joke about Fonzie to a Baby Boomer, and got only a blank stare in response. Is it possible that spending my youth devoted to intense and comprehensive study of UHF television rather than developing human social skills was somehow a mistake?

Sounders/ECS folks. I just posted another lot of stuff (some of it going all the way back to the NASL days) on my FB page. Don't have Facebook, or Feel Like Helping us out without that pesky buying things element? You can still donate to the GoFundMe. gofund.me/364c212d

"I'm going alone" is Michigandese for "Leeeeeeeroooooooy Jenkins!!" I will be taking no follow-up questions on this.

The one unifying feature of all Petánistes is utter venality of their corruption.

That it was a true joy to watch these with my kids. In the best way, these are their movies, much as the original trilogy were mine. Childhood wonder - even secondhand - is a great counterpoint to the filter of nostalgia.

Loving our day at #CapitalCityComicon As our Alexa Bliss said, "This is really no weirder than any other day in Lansing". #RIP_BrayWyatt

The matchup we all want to see at #WWEEvolution . @BiancaBelairWWE riding a Utahraptor, @RheaRipley_WWE aboard a Mamenchisaurus. Come on, @TripleH . It's not too late to book this.

I once got into a fistfight at the UN General Assembly chamber. It was over custody of an armrest. I did not win. My little sister fought dirty.

I've yet to hear a convincing criticism of The Last Jedi that wasn't actually about Abrams caving to toxicity and abandoning the setup that Johnson had set out for him. Democratizing the Force in TLJ was the best thing any of the -quels did. No more elite "magic family" lines.

Пётр Распутин. Like I was gonna pick anyone else.