man i see all the greats and what they do to get to where they are (most recently Wemby and his training with monks and other smaller creators) and its hella inspiring, and I know deep down I could be doing so much more - for deadlock, my health, and the community. which is kind of uncomfortable to confront, and definitely ego-shattering, because I start to get defensive or make excuses. I wake up greatful for the position im in everyday, but I can't achieve "great" status with my current day to day and I know it. And I can't use deadlock not being launched as an excuse for my laziness and lack of work ethic. Yes, the 12-19 year old me would be so proud of me - I reached my initial goal of 1k+ avg viewership on schedule, and more than that. But now im so comfortable and its messing with my drive, its nothing like when I first started streaming or first joined MLC. this has happened before, but the difference this time is i've set new goals for myself that I want to achieve so that I know what im working towards - and hoping yall can find within yourselves the discipline and courage to also REALLY go for your own, no lying to yourself or making excuses. The start is my classes with eternus+ players starting in ~2 weeks with creators and ranked ladder players expanding on and adjusting MLC's current roles system (pos 1-6) along with general vod review to get better at the game my IRL meetups for mental health & activities with some of yall in the area - hiking, climbing, sports etc. (which im hoping to transition into a full program in the future) maximum of 1 hour screentime a day (on phone) streaming/recording my gym progress with my personal trainer starting next week for all to follow along, eventually want to bench 225 or do calisthenics of some sort thats what I can think of right now. Using this to hold myself accountable and remind others to lock in and get it. Im probably going to fail many times. gonna go spend time with my mom & fam out of state then be back on monday fully ready to go. see yall then :)