If I was a pornstar I would want post-fuck interviews UFC style 👨‍🦱🎤"Helluva fuck there AL Alvarez, you focused on the titties a lot wasn't sure you'd get the finish but you got it done ... Who would you like to fuck next?"

Al Alvarez One Liners · Nov 6, 2026 · 3:32 PM UTC

Al Alvarez One Liners@AlAlvarezJokesNov 6

random person: "I don't see COLOUR" Me: "I don't see the "u" in COLOR"

Al Alvarez One Liners · Nov 5, 2026 · 4:54 PM UTC

Al Alvarez One Liners@AlAlvarezJokesNov 5

Mid joke Wednesdays published on a Thursday) I had a friend named Daniel that was a kleptomaniac We would call him Stealy Dan 2. Refurbished furby fur sale 3. As an American when I think of Britain I think of things that are proper We really used to be a proper country

Noel David Goodman · Nov 4, 2026 · 10:49 PM UTC

Al Alvarez One Liners retweeted

Noel David Goodman

@NoelDavidGoodmnNov 4

I hear Gen Z voted in record numbers last night. Great! I hope they form a powerful consistent voting bloc that'll force politicians to stop ignoring youth's concerns, and start taking Xbox price increases seriously.

Al Alvarez One Liners · Nov 4, 2026 · 8:57 PM UTC

Al Alvarez One Liners@AlAlvarezJokesNov 4

don't worry about politics or the apocalypse y'all, I've got enough water and dick jokes for 3 of us

Al Alvarez One Liners · Nov 4, 2026 · 8:52 PM UTC

Al Alvarez One Liners@AlAlvarezJokesNov 4

When you've eaten healthy for 3 days and see someone eat a cookie

Image from Al Alvarez One Liners (@AlAlvarezJokes)

Al Alvarez One Liners · Nov 3, 2026 · 4:41 PM UTC

Al Alvarez One Liners@AlAlvarezJokesNov 3

Election Day.. go out and Joke

Al Alvarez One Liners · Nov 2, 2026 · 11:22 PM UTC

Al Alvarez One Liners@AlAlvarezJokesNov 2

Crocodile Dundee 2026, he meets his friend's transgender wife "That's not a wife, this is a wife"

168

Al Alvarez One Liners · Nov 2, 2026 · 7:05 PM UTC

Al Alvarez One Liners@AlAlvarezJokesNov 2

We'll all be flying Spirit in the future... Literally... in spirit

New York Post

@nypostNov 2

Massive crater from Florida Learjet crash reveals how plane disintegrated after 20,000-foot plunge trib.al/MoAgs7f

Al Alvarez One Liners · Nov 2, 2026 · 3:30 PM UTC

Al Alvarez One Liners@AlAlvarezJokesNov 2

Do I really have to say "Tertiary" when I clearly mean "Thirdenary"

Al Alvarez One Liners · Nov 2, 2026 · 12:17 AM UTC

Al Alvarez One Liners@AlAlvarezJokesNov 2

A part of me wouldve been happy to keep this all for myself

I Suck At Elden Ring@FunnyMalaiseNov 1

Another Halloween, another night I didn't give away a single fucking piece of candy. I'm just done. Trick-or-treating is just dead here. I like Halloween but this is my last year buying candy for it.