Fake Alan Joyce (@AlanJoyceCEO) profile picture

Fake Alan Joyce

@AlanJoyceCEO

Leading Qantas Airways to its biggest disaster yet, and then to the next. Of course this is a parody account.

 On the ground.
qantas.com
Joined October 2011
  • Tweets3.3K
  • Following33
  • Followers2.1K
40Media
Photo by Fake Alan Joyce (@AlanJoyceCEO)Photo by Fake Alan Joyce (@AlanJoyceCEO)
That’s a big 1.25 Billion fuck you’s. If anyone needs me I’ll be off buying Samoa.
1
4
14
Feeling somewhat left out that @TurnbullMalcolm hasn't called me up yet. I have a specific set of skills he could use right about now.
6
Basic bitches get outta my way, I'm back! theage.com.au/business/aviat… #qantasLuxury
Qantas announces up to $500m share buyback on record $921m half-year profit

Qantas announces up to $500m share buyback on record $921m half-year profit

Qantas will return $500 million to shareholders after lower fuel prices, strong demand for international flights and ongoing cost cutting placed the airline on course to report a record full-year...

theage.com.au
2
4
@shugdocherty We had such a great time. Thank you. You should have seen the leftovers! Amazing night.
New check-in procedure working GREAT. teapawt.net/ilovecures/status/6450…
1
But look at the profit I made the company, you jerk! teapawt.net/cookie280785/status/63…
@rtkng99 does it change anything?
URGENT PRESS RELEASE teapawt.net/SBSComedy/status/59547…
1
2
If only @TonyAbbotMHR had the pilot's metadata, this could've all been prevented. ... ... right?
3
3
If the pilot was white it was mental illness. If he was brown it was terrorism. #germanwingscrash
1
1
2
If only your Mum had… RT @shugdocherty: I suppose you are a bit different from your mum you take it up the arse
1
Replying to @CaptSlapstick
.@CaptSlapstick @TheKouk @JoeHockey It was a lot more than $200, thank you.
Well @shugdocherty Perhaps your mum should have swallowed.
1
So… how was YOUR day yesterday? Mine was GREAT.
1
Replying to @CeltPowell
.@CeltPowell Hey I’m not responsible for @JetstarAirways (And anyone that flies that shit gets what they deserve).
2
So glad Abbott is doing his thing and keeping the heat off me.
SAFEST! WOO! RT @rtkng99: #QANTAS being the world's safest airlines in 2014!? - as reported by a Mainland Chinese newspaper. Oh, no wonder.
1
Glass rides in first (full), you in coach. RT @KimmerLions: can I get a seat for this?
Image from Fake Alan Joyce (@AlanJoyceCEO)
1
Replying to @hfselcal
Damn straight that’s too much tape. @hfselcal @QantasNews @Steve_ALAEA The maintenance guidebook says to use rags and spit.
1
1
1
Replying to @ozspecialagent
.@ozspecialagent I’d find that highly insulting except that it came from you, peon.
Load more