Allen Kinsel (@AllenKinsel) header
Allen Kinsel (@AllenKinsel) profile picture

Filp flop wanderer, Outdoor lover, Astros Fan, Texan, Rum and bilge water. Ex-SQL Server MVP

On an Island near Texas
Joined November 2008
Photo by Allen Kinsel (@AllenKinsel)Photo by Allen Kinsel (@AllenKinsel)Photo by Allen Kinsel (@AllenKinsel)Photo by Allen Kinsel (@AllenKinsel)Photo by Allen Kinsel (@AllenKinsel)Photo by Allen Kinsel (@AllenKinsel)Photo by Allen Kinsel (@AllenKinsel)Photo by Allen Kinsel (@AllenKinsel)Photo by Allen Kinsel (@AllenKinsel)Photo by Allen Kinsel (@AllenKinsel)
Allen Kinsel retweeted
fuck you
horses always clopping. just walk normally. fucking idiots.
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Allen Kinsel retweeted
A 2005 state-designed worm designed to corrupt physics simulations sat undetected on VirusTotal for nearly a decade. Fast16, intercepted executable files at the kernel level and silently rewrote floating-point calculations to make them produce slightly wrong answers. Targets: high-precision engineering suites used for structural analysis, crash simulations, and physical process modeling, including LS-DYNA, a tool cited in reports on Iran's nuclear weapons research. The sabotage vector relied on deployment of the driver across a network via worm, corrupting calculations on every machine, and eliminating the possibility of cross-checking results against a clean system. Stuxnet got the documentary. Fast16 got twenty years of nothing. sentinelone.com/labs/fast16-…
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Thing of absolute beauty. Give whoever made this video a big fat raise, Wyze
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You Got the Pipes I told the Uber driver I was headed to DFW, and he asked me what airline. “American,” I said. “God help me.” “I got a million miles on those guys,” he said. “Me too." “And another million on United,” he said. “I got you beat there. Two and a half million for me, last I checked. And maybe another million on Delta.” My driver, whose name was Peter, nodded slowly. I could tell from the back of his head that he could feel my pain. “That was another life,” he said. “But I'm done with all that. I don’t travel anymore.” “Well Peter, I hate to break it to you but you’re driving me to the airport. And according to your odometer, you’re still racking up the miles.” Peter chuckled and glanced in the rearview mirror, but I was on the passenger side, and mostly out of site. “You sound like Mike Rowe,” he said. “Anybody ever tell you that?” “Only when I say something incredibly clever.” Peter chuckled. “Yeah, that guy was a real smart aleck. I used to watch him on The Discovery Channel 20 years ago. He did some crazy crap.” I asked Peter would he did in his other life – the one that kept him up in the air so often. “I was a tech guy, he said. "Worked for Sun Microsystems and a bunch of other big companies. I also write books.” What kind of books? “I wrote a ‘How To’ book ten years ago,” he said. “How to what,” I asked. “How to Organize Your Photos in 7 Easy Steps. The First in a Series About Personal Information Management by The PIM Coach, Peter Gailey.” "Who couldn't use a "PIM Coach," I asked? "Did you sell any?" “As a matter of fact, I did. Published it myself, and it went to #1 on Kindle.” “That’s great!” I said. “Congratulations.” I told Peter about my mother’s 60-year writing journey, and the thrill of becoming a best-seller at the tender age of eighty. “Good for her,” said Peter. “Publishing is a tough business.” “It’s a knife fight in a phone booth,” I said. “Are you working on anything now?” “Well, believe it or not, I’m working on a book about the characters who wind up in the back of my car.” Peter grabbed a thick notepad on his dashboard and held it up. It was filled with scribbling. "I always keep this handy, he said. You wouldn’t believe the people I meet, driving for Uber and Lyft. I got a thousand stories." “That’s funny,” I said. “I’m writing a book about the Uber and Lyft drivers who have driven me to the airport.” Peter cocked his head, and I could tell from the lines on the back of neck that he was wondering if was yanking his chain. "I’m serious," I said. “In fact, you can read the first chapter after you drop me off. Just google, ‘A Pretty Good Lyft.’ bit.ly/4ni3WKh It’s the true story about the guy who drove me to Will Rogers Airport a couple years ago. Talk about a character.” “You really do sound like Mike Rowe,” he said. “You should get into voiceovers.” “I’ll take it under advisement,” I said. “Maybe, if I ever finish my book, I should do the audio version myself?” “You definitely should,” he said. “You got the pipes.” As we pulled up to the curb, I thanked him for the ride, and the conversation. “What are you gonna call your new book,” I asked. "I was thinking about ‘Life is a Trip,’" he said. “Not bad,” I said. “Think I’ll make the cut? Maybe a short story about a fellow road warrior who sounds like Mike Rowe with a mother who just happens to be a selling author?” “Possibly,” he said. “You were fun to talk to.” “What if I can get Mike Rowe to narrate it for you? Would that seal the deal?” This time, Peter adjusted the rearview mirror and stared at the guy who used to do some crazy crap on the Discovery Channel. “Son of a bitch,” he said. We shook hands, wished each other a pleasant life, and promised to read each other’s next book – assuming either of us ever finishes. And with that, 'The Original PIM Coach' went in search of more content, as I entered the familiar environs of Terminal A, to further solidified my status as a glutton for punishment, somewhere in the friendly skies...
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A lovely tribute to Phil Factor from @redgate 's founder: red-gate.com/simple-talk/fea…
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The weak underestimate and block the internet schizos, while the strong embrace them and their polarizing tendencies because the fact of the matter is… they are right A LOT
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It's hard not to look at today and think we've gone from "I disapprove of what you say but I will defend to the death you're right to say it," to " If I disapprove of what you say I will gun you down in broad daylight and kill you for it. "
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The problem really was DNS, this time.
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Anyone interested in asking questions or talking about #SQLServer at #KCDC over breakfast tomorrow? #kcdc2025
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Allen Kinsel retweeted
💖💖💖
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Allen Kinsel retweeted
We have officially crossed the line to too many blue icons. I have currently open, IE, VSCode, SSMS 21, Suse Rancher, Outlook, Word and Snaggit Editor. All varying shades of blue (I closed Zoom earlier or it'd be worse). There are other colors in the rainbow. Just saying.
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Remember when all our problems could be fixed with notepad and an .ini file?
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This figure is striking. It shows the relationship between where people think they are in the income distribution and where they actually are. Observations below the line indicate that people think they are poorer than they really are (and the reverse above the line). What do you notice?
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SQL Saturday Austin 2025 was great. Thanks to @ProCureSQL @microsoft @redgate for sponsoring. Enjoyed seeing everyone and honored to speak
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The strongest steel is forged in the fire of a dumpster
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Superbowl tonight be like
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New Orleans, LA has received more than double the amount of snowfall we've received here in Anchorage, AK since the start of meteorological winter (Dec. 1). New Orleans: 8.0" Anchorage: 3.8" @NWSNewOrleans, we'd like our snow back. Or at least some King Cake in return. 😉🙃
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Buckle up because we're crashing into the new year with my annual database retrospective: License change blowbacks! @databricks vs. @SnowflakeDB gangwar! @DuckDB shotgun weddings! Buying a college quarterback with database money for your new lover! cs.cmu.edu/~pavlo/blog/2025/…
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Time to channel my network. My current contract expires at the end of the month. So I am looking for new opportunities. Do you know anyone who can use a very experienced #SQLServer developer, specialized in query tuning? Please reach out! Reposts appreciated. #OpenToWork
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