Andy Ruther (@AndyRuther) header
Andy Ruther (@AndyRuther) profile picture

Andy Ruther

@AndyRuther

3x girl dad. Minivan driver. Costco executive member.

linktr.ee/andyruther
Joined April 2009
  • Tweets4K
  • Following581
  • Followers39.5K
664Media
Photo by Andy Ruther (@AndyRuther)Photo by Andy Ruther (@AndyRuther)Photo by Andy Ruther (@AndyRuther)Photo by Andy Ruther (@AndyRuther)Photo by Andy Ruther (@AndyRuther)Photo by Andy Ruther (@AndyRuther)Photo by Andy Ruther (@AndyRuther)Photo by Andy Ruther (@AndyRuther)Photo by Andy Ruther (@AndyRuther)Photo by Andy Ruther (@AndyRuther)
Been taking a shit for the last 15 minutes while doom scrolling & totally forgot I had a baby strapped to me
Image from Andy Ruther (@AndyRuther)
1
34
3,533
There are two sides to every story
Dov Kleiman (@NFL_DovKleiman) profile pictureDov Kleiman
@NFL_DovKleimanOct 20
Insane: A man in Virginia has been charged with duct-taping his wife to a chair in the basement so he could watch football upstairs “in peace” The 64-year-old now faces felony abduction and misdemeanor assault charges. One of the craziest news stories of the year.
Image from Dov Kleiman (@NFL_DovKleiman)
30
3,942
This morning my two toddler daughters got into a physical altercation over who could close the refrigerator door.
1
1
13
3,004
Just woke up my wife from laughing at that Tua pass.
3
11
2,990
If you want absolute chaos every night between 6-8pm I highly recommend having 3 kids in 3.5 years.
2
1
38
5,795
Gonna put these helmets on my toddler daughters and have them fight over the last Dino Nugg
Image from Andy Ruther (@AndyRuther)
2
1
6
1,828
Can someone tell this dude living in South Asia posing as a female that the NFL season hasn’t started yet.
Image from Andy Ruther (@AndyRuther)
TYN❥ (@talizo07) profile pictureTYN❥
@talizo07Sep 4
My dad stopped watching football this season. Didn't cancel anything dramatically. Didn't make an announcement. Just quietly stopped. Sundays went from the TV on by noon to him puttering around the house, doing small projects, reading. He'd watched his whole life. Forty years minimum. I grew up with the sound of it on every weekend from September to February. I asked him once, casual, just hey, not watching today? He shrugged and said...
1
1
21
4,677
This explains why my 3 yr old daughter wants to be an SS officer for Halloween
Polymarket (@Polymarket) profile picturePolymarket
@PolymarketAug 12
JUST IN: Growing number of academic scholars accuse children’s cartoon Paw Patrol of promoting authoritarian capitalism & pro-police “copaganda.”
12
7,933
Gonna hire a private investigator to see if my daughters really eat ALL their food everyday at daycare.
17
7,976
My wife gave me a power washer for Father’s Day. Spent the entire day power washing anything I could get my hands on. I’ve reached peak dad mode.
1
23
3,059
For any future parents. This is what you can expect: My 3 yr old daughter just had a meltdown cuz my wife flushed her poop down before I got to see it.
1
11
3,784
I don’t argue politics with strangers online. I already have a 3-year-old at home for debates that go nowhere.
1
1
17
3,665
Paying my respects to Harambe today. On this day 10 years ago he was brutally murdered for protecting a child.
Image from Andy Ruther (@AndyRuther)
1
3
2
35
2,430
My wife’s 5 months pregnant. Definitely keeping her away from the New England area.
25
148
8
6,177
98,401
My response to the new baby news
5
27
12,101
“Sorry kids, but daddy can’t put you to bed on Thursday night. I’ll be in Pittsburgh dressed as a Bengal Tiger watching 20 year olds get jobs.”
115
1,443
77
44,852
1,361,366
Load more