Ashley (@Ash_Not_Ketchum) header
Ashley (@Ash_Not_Ketchum) profile picture

Ashley

@Ash_Not_Ketchum

Funnier on the internet

 Muncie, IN
Joined September 2009
  • Tweets13.4K
  • Following435
  • Followers562
617Media
Photo by Ashley (@Ash_Not_Ketchum)Photo by Ashley (@Ash_Not_Ketchum)Photo by Ashley (@Ash_Not_Ketchum)Photo by Ashley (@Ash_Not_Ketchum)Photo by Ashley (@Ash_Not_Ketchum)Photo by Ashley (@Ash_Not_Ketchum)Photo by Ashley (@Ash_Not_Ketchum)Photo by Ashley (@Ash_Not_Ketchum)Photo by Ashley (@Ash_Not_Ketchum)Photo by Ashley (@Ash_Not_Ketchum)
This tweet is only for my FBI agent: hey man, did I sound okay when I was singing Burn from Hamilton at the top of my lungs in my car as if I had a man in my life to hurt me? I think it was a little pitchy. I’m open to constructive criticism. – at Manteno, IL
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Working on some terrible music for u all xoxo you’re gonna hate it!
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HOLD ON HOLD ON HOLD ON...HER SISTER WAS A WITCH RIGHT? AND WHAT WAS HER SISTER? A PRINCESS, THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST BRO. YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG? AM I WRONG? SHE WORE A CROWN AND SHE CAME DOWN IN A BUBBLE
Image from John Foley (@2008Philz)
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*aggressively doing the sign for all done*
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Noah Kahan indy lawn tickets reselling for 300+ dollars is CRIMINAL
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Uh oh the Facebook moms are already complaining about the Barbie movie.
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A man just asked me if my chrysanthemum tattoo was a lily. Now let’s do a fun little side by side to determine if this man has ever seen a lily.
Image from Ashley (@Ash_Not_Ketchum)
Image from Ashley (@Ash_Not_Ketchum)
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I haven’t lived in Monee for nearly 2 years now but I just don’t have it in me to take lucky burrito out of my contacts. She was too special to me.
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I wonder what the youth pastors are gonna do to spin the submarine story into a message this week
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Happy new @NoahKahan Day to all who celebrate
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Ope
Mason Mennenga (@masonmennenga) profile pictureMason Mennenga
@masonmennenga25 May 2023
“LGBTQ people are marketing sex to children” says the person who made his daughter pledge her sexual purity to him
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I could go back to therapy or I could make a google form to send to all past and future failed relationships to see why we didn’t work out for FREE
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Ha nice.
Noah Kahan (@NoahKahan) profile pictureNoah Kahan
@NoahKahan18 May 2023
I am so thrilled to announce the release of Stick Season (We’ll All Be Here Forever) on 6/9. I deeply appreciate your patience and your support for this project and I am so incredibly grateful to be able to continue telling this story.
Image from Noah Kahan (@NoahKahan)
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I thought everyone on tiktok was only seeing videos with @NoahKahan Stick Season Deluxe version previews. turns out, they aren’t. and I think I’m might be mentally unstable.
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This is a written warning that the moment @NoahKahan drops the deluxe version of Stick Season that I will be indisposed for a significant amount of time.
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Earned my white lady badge today. Tried to help a loose dog. He was very large and I treated him like a tiny baby. I ended up with scratches. I still think he was just a sweet lil baby.
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The midwestern urge to ask “y’all still living out on *insert street name here*?” When you run into an old friend
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If you’re my aunt and uncles neighbor who just saw me on the back patio without pants on trying to get the dogs to stop barking, no you didn’t.
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Me: I have anxiety but I wouldn’t really consider myself a super anxious person Also me: I should probably check my work schedule for the 80th time just to make sure it didn’t accidentally change without any notice.
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Image from ✧ (@northstardoll)
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I always drink nothing but caffeine and then have the audacity to wonder why my belly hurts and I have a headache.
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