𝓝𝓸𝓫𝓸𝓭𝔂

"There are special people in this world. This just means I was never one of them."

"Not dressing up today."

Here 🫴🏻🍫

He shrugs. "I passed, I graduated, that's all that matters, it's not like I was ever trying to make it to the top 10, I had no plans of joining the MP and I really hated the thought of robbing someone else of the opportunity."

( Definitely. )

( We'll see if either of them ever gets the chance to understand the other's perspective on that matter. )

( He doesn't, because the way he sees it, he doesn't have any other skills or positive traits to make up for it either. His whole motive for joining the military in the first place was to hopefully actually help bring some good into the world for once. )

( He is pretty lucky all things considered, especially when compared to other individuals. A fact he is quite aware of. )

( A mix of quieter mistakes, physical struggles in training, and experiences of neglect leading to an acceptance of his own mediocrity and a perception of intense moral failure that both conflicts with and justifies said sense of mediocrity within his own cognitive dissonance. )

( To put it lightly, yes, he is. )

( He had a little bit of free time, so like usual he's just been taking up whatever empty space is available for him to just wander aimlessly into like the living background decoration he is. )

"Guess I've just been thinking back to my cadet days. A lot of times I found myself falling behind on training so often I'd end up doing extra practice at night just to catch up."

He freezes for barely a second. Then he smiles and gives a nod. He seems to find comfort in her words of indifference. "Alright." He says, his tone lacking its usual gloominess.

"You weren't? A lot of times whenever I'm talking to people I always have this certain, anxiety, this worry, and I guess after a bit the alcohol just sort of, enhanced that. I mean, my normal internal dialogue was muffled but the actual feeling, that paranoia, increased."