The Lord Badger (@BadgerTopTips) profile picture

The Lord Badger

@BadgerTopTips

Fox hating top tip aficionado & friend of the mildly perturbed. Support the hunt, not the cull!

 Durham
badger.org.uk/Content/Home.asp
Joined September 2010
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The Lord Badger retweeted
Peter Jackson (@peterajackson) profile picture
Peter Jackson@peterajackson6 Jul 2011
Replying to @BadgerTopTips
@badgertoptips Distract yourself from the cold, amoral, endless, meaningless of the universe by playing Mario Kart.
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Deter mice from eating your cabbage by erecting polite signs in mouse language
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SALAD EATING SEX PERVERTS. Reduce the risk of cross contamination by clearly labelling cucumbers "kitchen" and "bum"
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@MOOSOLA. Disappoint your immediate family members by hosting a barbecue with "healthy" food and little booze
Aggrophobics. Conquer your fears of open spaces by drinking heavily before venturing outdoors
Phil Collins for fuck's sake
"What a terrible shame that Phil Collins has retired. Still, that's Phil's decision and Phil's business". I love Smooth Radio.
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Queens Park Rangers. Disguise your true status as a shitty little club by charging fans £75 to get in
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Recreate the feeling of catatonic suspension by agreeing to allow windows to update itself
Natalie Cassidy. Make yourself a house hold name by continually fluctuating your body mass
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ATHEISTS. Grow some bollocks and have a go at the devil for a change
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CELEBRITIES. Ensure your private lives are considered not in the public interest by not doing anything interesting
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OLD PEOPLE. Keep youngsters on their toes by coming to the occasional sudden stop whilst walking in busy pedestrianised areas
RYANAIR. Wish your passengers a safe and pleasant flight just before take off. THEY WILL FUCKING HATE IT
When picking a fight, reduce your chances that you will come off worst by selecting an opponent who looks soft and a bit of a sissy
COMEDIANS. Make good money as John Bishop tribute acts by telling jokes mainly about soft lads and your ard fellah
CELEBRITIES. Increase the chances I might respect you by giving Direct Line Insurance adverts a massive swerve
COMEDIANS. Boost your confidence by doing something on Comic Relief Night. The audience is morally obliged to laugh & cheer any shite
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Prove your Dad and your teachers were right all along about you by adopting Nescafe 3 in 1 as your beverage of choice
Add literally seconds to your day by switching to the new time efficient beverage Nescafe 3 in 1
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