B A S B Y ®★♬

There’s a debate going on about which is worse: mosquitoes or bedbugs. As someone who respects facts, trauma, and lived experience, let me be clear: Bedbugs are the worst creatures to ever exist. Mosquitoes? We Africans are built for mosquitoes. They disturb you, you slap one, you get malaria, you treat it, life moves on. Use a net, cover your body, sleep with fan, you’ll still manage to sleep. But bedbugs? Ah. When bedbugs enter your house, you are no longer the landlord. You are the tenant. In fact, you are the visitor. If ONE bedbug enters your house today, by tomorrow morning they are about 70 million. No meeting. No warning. Just multiplication. Bedbugs don’t disturb sleep, they cancel sleep. They don’t bite you, they traumatize you. If you survive bedbugs, you may need therapy to feel safe in your own bed again. Bedbugs will make you appreciate the Nigerian government. Bedbugs are worse than bandits. You can fumigate today, tomorrow, next week, one or two will still survive to tell the story. In fact, to finally defeat bedbugs, you have to leave the house for them. You relocate.. While you probably wait for Trump to Nuke your area. And let’s talk about their confidence. Bedbugs existed before beds were invented. Meaning they came prepared. Humanity just caught up later. Their scientific name is Cimex lectularius- you see the name? Bedbug is a senior lecturer. And trust me, bedbugs will lecture you about life, humility, suffering, patience and why pride is useless. In every language, the name “bedbug” never sounds friendly. In Idoma, it's called 'ikpre'. In Ebira language, it's call Ikazi (which sounds like 'irazi', meaning 'war') You dey hear am? Bedbugs is a bringer of war. No translation sounds like peace. So please, let’s stop this debate. Mosquitoes are annoying but Bedbugs are demonic. If bedbugs visit your house, you are the guest.