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Saucy Kensington

@Book_Krazy

Be careful out there today. There's people everywhere. https://teapawt.net/t.co/ADSYgd3U3m

 Texas, USA
Joined September 2013
  • Tweets56.6K
  • Following1.1K
  • Followers21.7K
146Media
Photo by Saucy Kensington (@Book_Krazy)Photo by Saucy Kensington (@Book_Krazy)Photo by Saucy Kensington (@Book_Krazy)Photo by Saucy Kensington (@Book_Krazy)Photo by Saucy Kensington (@Book_Krazy)Photo by Saucy Kensington (@Book_Krazy)Photo by Saucy Kensington (@Book_Krazy)Photo by Saucy Kensington (@Book_Krazy)Photo by Saucy Kensington (@Book_Krazy)Photo by Saucy Kensington (@Book_Krazy)
Saucy Kensington retweeted
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Tim@Playing_Dad4 Nov 2012
Sitting at my daughter's pretend restaurant. The service is horrible here and the prices are outrageous.
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Ever have a dream so real that you thought you missed your final exam, but you wake up to the smell of coffee and the sound of your children arguing and you wish you were late for your final exam.
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Saucy Kensington retweeted
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Saucy Kensington@Book_Krazy28 Dec 2015
Her: OMG you're alive!!! I heard you bought the farm! ME: No no, I bought "a" farm. HER: but I told everyone you're dead! ME: That's fine
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Saucy Kensington retweeted
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Saucy Kensington@Book_Krazy14 Jun 2014
Me: Excuse me sir, what's your Wi-Fi password? Him: *[Leans in] *[Whispers angrily] THIS IS A FUNERAL Me: *[Types in] THIS IS A FUNERAL
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Saucy Kensington retweeted
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Saucy Kensington@Book_Krazy9 Jan 2017
Me: *Realizes I'm still young & healthy & has every opportunity to live life to the fullest* Also me: *Stares blankly at nothing for hours*
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Saucy Kensington retweeted
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Saucy Kensington@Book_Krazy24 Jun 2014
Yeah sex is great, but have you ever rubbed your eyes for a really long time? O. M. G.
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Saucy Kensington retweeted
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Saucy Kensington@Book_Krazy4 Jun 2014
Sorry I said "nice phone" when you showed me a photo of your baby.
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Saucy Kensington retweeted
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Saucy Kensington@Book_Krazy31 Aug 2015
"Last call for flight 254" [Runs to gate] "You barely made it" [out of breath] This isnt my flight. I just wanted to tell you I'm a vegan
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Saucy Kensington retweeted
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Saucy Kensington@Book_Krazy21 May 2015
*fixes hair* *checks breath* *adjusts boobs* "Ok, be cool. Dont let him know you're a woodpecker" *goes to door* KnockKnockKnockKnockKnockKn
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Saucy Kensington retweeted
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Saucy Kensington@Book_Krazy9 Dec 2015
According to this advent calendar I'm eating, Christmas was 5 minutes ago.
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Saucy Kensington retweeted
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Saucy Kensington@Book_Krazy12 Jan 2017
I'm going to build a wall around my emotions and all of you will pay for it.
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Saucy Kensington retweeted
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Saucy Kensington@Book_Krazy10 Mar 2015
Ways to tell if you're a parent 1. Turn off bathroom light 2. Turn off pantry light 3. Turn off bedroom light 4. Repeat everyday for 18 yrs
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Saucy Kensington@Book_Krazy2 Oct 2016
Mommy, should I be afraid of the people in scary costumes? No baby, there's regular people who r way scarier than them everywhere. G'night.
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Saucy Kensington retweeted
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Saucy Kensington@Book_Krazy1 Aug 2015
GENIE: I'll grant you one wish ME: I want all my window blinds on automatic timers. GENIE: not world peace or... ME: MAKE IT HAPPEN CLOWN
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Saucy Kensington retweeted
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pat tobin@tastefactory18 Sep 2015
When parents say to kids "go to ur room & think about what you've done" it's really good practice for what you'll do every night as an adult
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Saucy Kensington retweeted
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Saucy Kensington@Book_Krazy2 Sep 2015
WAITER: Room for dessert? [flashback to the room at home that hides all my desserts] ME: [nervous laugh] Haha I don't have one of those.
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Saucy Kensington retweeted
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Ron Iver@ronnui_12 Aug 2020
Normal people: I left my sunglasses in the car. Jeep Owners: I Jeeped my Jeepgoggles in the Jeep™
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Saucy Kensington retweeted
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Saucy Kensington@Book_Krazy12 Mar 2014
My husband thinks I've been on my phone checking the weather for the last 3500 hours
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Saucy Kensington retweeted
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Saucy Kensington@Book_Krazy23 Apr 2017
Angel: Whatcha making? God: Dolphins. They'll work together & flourish as a species A: Nice, maybe humans will be next God:*stares sadly*
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