Satire, News, Views & Commentary From Around Britain. What's Grating On You Today?
10 Downandout Street
Joined April 2022
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Looks like Andy Burnham has reached the chapter on free personal care in his 'How to Govern Like Scotland' guide book.
Government celebrates saving households £45.
Burnham: “£45 off.”
Ofgem: “I’ll raise you £60.”
Welcome to British energy policy ⚡️
Michael Shanks, Scout Leader & Modern Studies Teacher tells us UK energy is safe in his hands.
Meanwhile:
Iran hack a UK energy generator taking it offline for four days.
Nothing to worry about ⚡️
Labour promised fiscal discipline. Now Labour can't rule out further tax rises.
The UK borrowed around £152bn in 2024–25. In the same year, HMRC estimates £59.2bn of tax that should theoretically have been paid wasn't collected - equivalent to nearly 40% of that year's borrowing.
A British fishy deal 🇬🇧
Apparently the rest of the UK buys Scots an “extra 20%” fish supper. 🎣 🏴
Did you get yours???
Except you open the box and there is no cod. Not even a fish. Just cold, greasy chips. And you very quickly realise you have been over charged for something you didn't get.
Cod we take a moment of your time to set out how public spending works in Scotland? 🐟🍟
From the fiscal framework to the Barnett Formula - Minister for Scotland @melanie_ward explains!
@hmtreasury
MASS EXODUS AT THE BORDER!
Latest available figures:
Rest of UK → Scotland: 50,200
Scotland → rest of UK: 41,600
Net gain for Scotland: +8,600
A £1.5bn Chinese-backed factory bringing 1,500 jobs to Scotland gets the red pen.
Meanwhile in London, Labour whips the cover off a giant new Chinese super embassy like it’s the star prize on Bullseye.
MPs 'failing to learn lessons' as freebies acceptance soars to £400,000.
Disclosures include £858 worth of tickets to a Harry Styles concert at Wembley by Lucy Powell, now education secretary.
Gotham survived the Joker, the Riddler and Bane.
Can Glasgow survive a BBC documentary?
BATMAN: “I am vengeance. I am the night. I am… apparently needed in Glasgow. The BBC's most dangerous city in the world” 🦇
Andy Burnham & Keir Starmer flew the UK Government’s VIP Airbus A321, registration G-GBNI at an approximate cost of £14,000 PER HOUR.
The Government published these G-GBNI travel costs earlier in 2026:
Starmer to Cork: £40,519.26 in travel costs.
Starmer to Munich: £44,404.16.
Starmer to Helsinki: £79,630.98.
Starmer to the Women’s Euro 2025 final in Basel, accompanied by his wife and 10 officials: £60,130
Simply taking Cork, tracking records show roughly 2 hrs 56 mins of G-GBNI flying associated with the trip. For Helsinki, roughly 5 hrs 26 mins.
That works out at roughly:
Cork: £13,813 per airborne hour
Helsinki: £14,656 per airborne hour
Apply that observed range to Burnham's 2 hrs 8 mins of aircraft movements:
Estimated cost: £29,469–£31,266.
Live footage from the Scottish Labour leadership contest.
One loser, fighting another loser, to decide who is the greatest loser.
Stephen Kerr has never won a Scottish Parliament constituency seat. Ever.
Despite that, he has received approx. £369,000 in MSP salary since 2021 - plus expenses.
He lost in 2021.
He lost again in 2026.
Both times by huge margins.
He only entered Holyrood through the regional list.
This is disgusting.
Nearly £100,000 of taxpayers’ money spent on John Swinney, an SNP minister and their entourage going to the World Cup.
More than £45,000 on flights. Business-class travel. Nearly £10,000 on hotels. Thousands more on car hire — including £5,458 for Maree Todd’s car in Miami.
And some of the officials travelling at our expense have not even been identified.
The scale of this is incredible.
£98,442. On this.
While taxpayers are being hammered and public services are crying out for money, SNP ministers seem to think the public purse is there to fund luxury travel for themselves and their advisers.
It is absolutely indefensible.
John Swinney should explain every penny of it.
The 'Scottish' Press call an emergency SNAKE meeting to discuss new newspaper titles for 2026.
WINNER:
SCOTLAND THE GRAVE
- Burying good news since 1707.
SIGNED:
The SNAKE Committee
(The Scottish Negative Anti-National Knock Everything Committee)
Inflation is up to 2.9%. Prices are rising again.
But don’t worry - Andy Burnham will be giving live TikTok updates from Downing Street. He has a ring light.
Scotland: keeping Westminster switched on.
Scotland exported 21.7 TWh of electricity in 2025 and imported just 0.9 TWh - making it a net exporter of 20.8 TWh to the rest of the UK.
In 2024 Scotland generated 18.2% of UK electricity despite accounting for only 9.8% of UK electricity consumption. England generated 70.7% while accounting for 81.2% of consumption. Scotland then transferred around 17.2 TWh south to England.
