Bryan

I never ever wanted to do this, but I’m in a very bad way and could really use some help. Right now I can’t afford my basic expenses (including rent, utilities, and medical) going into July. It’s much worse than I’ve lead on, and while I really very much don’t want to ask for financial help, I don’t know any way to monetize my content fast enough or big enough. I’m linking my kofi in the replies (so the post isn’t suppressed). I can’t offer much in return, not right now, but any little bit of support is appreciated beyond words. **So I’m going to go through my situation just once and please, please don’t think I’m asking for pity. I very much don’t want pity. I do very much want to be completely transparent in my ask though. I warn you, it’s long.** Background: My husband and I are in the process of divorcing after 12 years (not my choice). I don’t want to go into that part of it, but I do what to let you know where I’m at financially in regards to all this. For the past seven years, I have been out of work due to my lupus (an autoimmune disease), and he’s been the sole income provider besides what I make via Twitch (which isn’t much at all). I’m not eligible for disability, but because of the inconsistencies with my lupus, I also can’t work, especially now that I am going through a bad lupus flare that won’t go away. The general lupus medicine I’m on also makes me immunocompromised, so being out in public can be extremely dangerous for me. That also means I can’t take public transportation, and since the car is his, I have no way to get anywhere, including doctor appointments. I also have to get everything delivered, which is outrageously expensive too. Where I am currently: My husband cut me off from financial support this past month and what little I had left in savings went toward my rent, student loans, utilities, pet expenses, and, when I could afford it, food. I also had to pay a few thousand dollars for a divorce lawyer. On top of all that, I can’t afford copays, so I had to stop my weekly therapy because I have a $460 balance I can’t afford, and I had to cancel two other appointments because of copays alone. And the past week I’ve been going through pretty severe ad*erall withdrawal because I need a physical appointment with my doctor before he will prescribe me any (which is dumb af), but my immune system is too weak for ride share atm (I can't afford it anyways, and I can't afford the copay, let alone my monthly meds. AND I’m currently on a 4 week course of prednisone because I’m dealing with that lupus flare that won’t go away and was triggered by all the stress which also won’t go away. The worse part of that is that the prednisone weakens my immune system even more, causing me to be extremely compromised (hence the no ride share atm). My body doesn’t tolerate prednisone well though, and dealing with that on top of the ad*erall withdrawal, I’m really fucked up physically and mentally. I’m safe, but not good in either respect. Basically, I’m a hot fucking mess, and it’s *drastically* affecting my streaming and content, which is how I’d otherwise earn the money I’m asking for. I'm probably missing something, but I hope this is enough to justify my ask in some way. I'm not proud, I'm just desperate. Starting next week I’ll be working with my lawyer to get spousal maintenance from my husband. Then hopefully I can get some adhd meds, go back to therapy, stress less so this flare goes away, and finally make content again. Until then though, any and all support is greatly appreciated.