BusJokes

Time is a lot like a hillbilly's wife. Relative.

How did the man protect his house? With de fence.

E-bola is a virus.

What does it sound like when you laugh on helium? He He He He He He!

Hey baby, you're so hot it's like you're radioactive. Out of ten, I'd rate U-235.

Hey baby, I'm trying to figure out the final velocity we'd arrive at this bar at. I have the acceleration and time. Now all I need is u.

What is the opposite of treating cancer? Offcology.

What is the deal with wardrobes? Why can't they be nice and be peace drobes?

With the $20,000 I have in my bank account, I am 20,000 parts per millionaire.

What do you call a battalion of people in wheelchairs? A paraplegion.

If Ukraine folds and gives in, the news headline should be 'Chicken Kiev'.

What do you call it when a transsexual Thai person drowns? Ladybuoy.

What do zoologists use to investigate lions' mental states? Roarshach tests.

Why is it called a soap opera? Because when you drop the soap you usually end up screaming long and high.

Why were the two people passing calculators to each other under their desks? They were doing discrete mathematics.

Why was the French fry so much like the potato it came from? It was a chip off the old block.

What did the pervert say when he went fishing? I'm a master baiter.

Who does the community check with to adjust their times? The neighborhood watch.

What do lions hold to raise awareness about their lifestyle? Pride parades.