Carl Pearson

Our recurrent miscarriage story. Seven babies we never met. Miscarriage is still a taboo subject and I feel like now is the time to use my platform on X to tell our story - we suffered in silence for so long. At times my wife and I never told a single person about our loss but with time, I have realised how common an experience we have suffered. In the age bracket of 35-39 miscarriage occurs in around 1 in every 5 pregnancies. After several miscarriages we realised something wasn’t right and later found out my wife was a carrier of a balanced translocation: a chromosome rearrangement which can be passed on to an unborn child which can lead to medical problems. We didn’t think having a biological child was therefore possible and on the same day we had an appointment booked with an adoption agency we had a call from the NHS offering a possible solution: IVF. By using a new version of IVF which tested the genetics of our embryos our miracle baby Gaia was born in our first attempt. We feel so blessed to have Gaia after so much heart ache. Whilst going through IVF we produced two heathy embryos that survived the process and we felt like it was only right, after Gaia to use the second embryo. Women who go through IVF are heroes and my wife again went through the gruelling schedule of medication second time round. But it wasn’t to be and 18 months ago we miscarried again and decided to draw a line under the idea of a second. 8 months ago, completely out of the blue we fell pregnant naturally and we’re now expecting a healthy baby boy in a matter of weeks. We’re truly blessed but fielding so many questions in the last decade has at times been difficult so I wanted to address this in hope many will think twice before asking such personal questions around having children. So please… before you ask your friends and family: “When are you having kids?” or “Are you having a second?” Consider that maybe they have tried and failed or are having difficulties. We were constantly asked these questions by people close to us and my wife especially really struggled having to answer them. She wasn’t ready to explain what had happened and she felt bad for avoiding the truth but was constantly but in these awkward situations. Please consider that the person you’re asking might be on a difficult journey and that miscarriage is way more common than many think.