Freelancer, humorist. (@mcsweeneys/ @slackjawhumor/ @PointsInCase) Author of An Authentic Derivative, a novel. https://xitter.cf/t.co/mwKwaXYvha
Virginia
Joined June 2012
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Caleb Coy Guard retweeted
That’s great, Mr. Trump. I’d like to report a theft.
A man inside our government illegally spent nearly $22 million in taxpayer dollars on bogus campaign ads praising himself. He now resides on 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
Taxpayers want to know when they’ll get their money back.
Trump announces "fraud whistleblower incentive program" -- "All Americans will now be able to go to fraud dot gov and report cases of corruption and theft of taxpayer dollars in their communities ... if you turn somebody in and you find $1 billion, we're giving a commission of 1%. That's a lot of money"
Say what you will about 1770s Britain, at least they didn’t blame the Boston Tea Party on the darker-skinned “third world” people that the rioters reappropriated to show their discontent.
#FranceProtests
But even as you unfold my crinkly wrapper you find one third of me already falling to the floor as broken crumbs.
medium.com/jane-austens-wast…
Sometimes I wonder if the processing power needed to make the “loading” graphic look cool is part of what’s taking it so long to load.
I’ve read nearly every word C.S. Lewis ever published, and a lot of words he didn’t. His words shapes my beliefs, and how I express them, and as I grew order I also saw that he wasn’t perfect at it. Nobody is.
I love Lewis, but one of my critiques is how women were sometimes portrayed in his fiction. And that’s ok.
Some of the harshest backlash to this movie before it even comes out is from the same people who lashed out at The Odyssey because it had Black people in it.
I don’t get the hate for the trailer for this new adaptation of The Magician’s Nephew.
I have my critiques, but I don’t get how interpreting Jesus as a species of animal raises no alarms but that animal voiced by a female is the end of civilization as we know it.
Tech billionaires will love
televised mass executions
because it is a guaranteed
recruiting tool
for terrorist groups
who will act out further
So we will vote for more
Techno surveillance
and spend more
on weapons manufacturing
and cut more
benefits
to tax the rich less.
I don’t need artificial intelligence to know
It’s the Gulf of Mexico
It’s Lake Ontario
It’s Indigenous People’s Day
It’s genocide
It’s always sunny in Philadelphia
“She lives in an air-conditioned unit in Chinatown with Casper, who made a living on Botox injections until he quit because of a lawsuit. He does not speak to her about it.”
Read Storax, Limited
my latest short story
in @gothamwriters The Razor
therazormag.com/articles/sto…
"Makes me wonder whether smartphones operate differently in Ithaca. Perhaps Cornell students receive special models in which the emergency-call feature has been replaced by Snapchat."
mcsweeneys.net/articles/an-o…
Do you know the truth about the Cornell gang rape came out?
Journalists.
Do you know who tried to keep it quiet?
Rich people.
If you get that here you should get it elsewhere.
If it pleases the court
I have a few speeding tickets
I would like to mitigate
with an essay.
@Cornell