Carson Sargent

*cue Wonderwall

I’m getting plastic surgery.

Is a black shirt with navy pants or navy shirt with black pants worse?

College prepares you for a lot, but where can I get lessons on how to respond appropriately to an unfunny video “I just have to see” on person’s phone?

Rushing the Girl Scouts next semester

You are what you eat. I am a Bacon Egg and cheese McGriddle.

I workout in Sperrys

Hey guys I’m doing a quick survey for a final project and I would appreciate it if you could send me your responses.

Leave the house for 20 minutes with my door unlocked and my roommates screwed with my Jason Mraz CDs. #lookingfornewfriends

Someone planted grass seeds in the Upsilon Houses front yard to spell “YE Sucks.” That is awesome whoever did that haha

Three things are certain in life: Death, Taxes, and that a mom on her phone in a Honda Odyssey will pull out in front of you and go 20 under when you’re late to class.

I want to be an age where I can say “quit that monkey business” to teenagers with a straight face.

Phineas and Ferb is my favorite anime

Standing up for your self and what you believe in is not classless.

Change your name to Sampson Utt. So much cooler. @Not_Samuel_Utt

A guy pulled up next to me in his Toyota Camry by himself wearing a Burger King crown

Yo people in Greek life, don’t let administration keep trying to change induction.

Ever been to a friends house and their mom didn’t have a “as for me and my house we will serve the lord” picture above their sink? I haven’t.