Chelly Longoria

As we draw closer and closer to Election Day, I'm noticing people become increasingly more possessed, like demons. Normally respectable people are losing their composure and their dignity because they can't handle the stress. Jesus has the wheel, folks. Get comfortable with uncertainty. Trust me, you can handle whatever comes next. Just vote your principles, destroy commies til your last dying breath, and we'll see what happens. You're not in control, nobody has a magic bullet, and you can't tweet your way into Paradise. You will adapt and overcome whatever happens. I promise.