Chinese Mum Say

"We are still fighting the terrorist threat in Xinjiang... What? No! The Uighurs are the terrorists!"

"Of course I don't blindly follow the Chinese government. I just can't think of anything they do wrong."

"If Tiananmen square really happened, why is there no video footage?"

"Freedom of the press dwindling? Ha! More like too much freedom!"

" If you don't earn enough money, you don't deserve any social life!"

"By the time you are 35 you will look like a prune. I hope you will at least be rich."

"Sometimes I can't help being so intelligent."

"You are not paid to be happy."

"That McPherson girl? I'll tell you, she's a slut. At 14 she was drunk and kissed a strange boy. Easy sex."

"Son, you have a farting problem! Farting all the time! Why are you angry? What do you care if everyone can hear me? Who do you know here?"

"My children are such a disappointment. You wouldn't even know how to handle a crisis!"

"Men like feminine women. Look at you! Look at your muscles. Does your boyfriend LIKE this?"

"Your dress is very short. Do not walk up the staircase or your 'Minnie Mouse' will show."

"How does your current boyfriend compare to the other six you had? Was it six? Was it more?"

"You must learn French. You need to know what people are saying about you."

"Are you wearing underwear? Make sure you do."

"I am keeping a book on everything you owe me. I write everything down. I remember those agnes b. shoes."

"Your boyfriend doesn't like hotpot? Ah, so we will give him hotpot."

"Life isn't about 'nice'. I should have had an abortion."

"Don't be influenced by your friends getting married. You are so easily influenced. And you need money first."