Andrew D. Hartmann

Those aren't tears, they're just growing pains!!

People who say that punching someone isn't worth it, have clearly never cold-cocked a MF right in the mouth and it shows!!

How many optimists does it take to change a light bulb?!! I don't know, it doesn't really seem that dark in here to me

If you want to lose weight, say 10-20 pounds...improve your diet and increase your exercise. If you want to lose weight, like A LOT of weight...exercise on an empty stomach!!

It's about to be the Saturdayest Sunday, ever!!! #ThreeDayWeekend

What's more annoying?!! A. People talking on speaker phone in public. B. The stupid YouTube videos that your kids are watching.

My goal on Fridays is to simply make it through the workday without doing anything stupid enough that I have to spend the weekend worrying whether or not I will have a job to come back to on Monday morning. Some weekends are easier to enjoy than others.

Don't you dare allow the idea of setting New Year's Resolutions to become too cliché for you to set some goals for the New Year!! THIS. IS. YOUR. YEAR.

If conservatives are going to ride the Trump Train until the wheels fall off, then I'm getting all Twelve Days of Christmas this year!!

This Christmas season admit that you have not heeded the cries of the poor, admit we are a broken society who leave behind those who don't conform, admit that without objection that our system allows the weak to... facebook.com/100000784578090…

I most certainly don't deserve this!! facebook.com/100000784578090…

Compassion naturally gives rise to tolerance and forgiveness. It allows us to appreciate that even someone we think of as an enemy is a human being with a right to be happy. This is one of the reasons why it’s... facebook.com/100000784578090…

Adulthood is basically just a balance between figuring out what's for dinner and sitting on the toilet until your toes are numb.

We are responsible for creating our own happiness. What are some things that bring you joy?

Good luck and safe travels to all of the educators traveling to Indianapolis today!! #RedForEd

I don't care how much of a man you are, when your wife tells you to stay with her purse, you stay with her purse!!

Q. When is it too early to put up Christmas decorations?? A. IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!

I don't know why y'all are celebrating, President Trump never even met Roger Stone!!

I don't care if you're doing #keto, #lowcarb, #caloriecounting, #intermittentfasting, #JennyCraig, #Atkins, #WeightWatchers, #Profile, #Beachbody, #BodybyJake, #Jazzercising, or exercising as penitence for your... facebook.com/100000784578090…

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