Do not expect a narrow-minded person to be open-minded. My most popular post! We can spend an enormous amount of energy trying to explain things to people who neither understand nor care to understand. It often leads to frustration, because no matter how carefully we explain, their world is too limited to take in what we are saying. The frog that lives in the well will never grasp the vastness of the ocean. That doesn’t make it a bad frog or a stupid frog. It simply means it is a well frog. Expecting it to see beyond its walls is unfair to the frog and exhausting for us. In life, some people simply cannot see beyond their own well. Instead of wearing ourselves out trying to make them, we can accept their limits, move forward, and invest our energy in places where it will make a difference. Life is good. Marshall

We are here on earth to make a positive difference, not to prove we are right. Peter Drucker taught me this lesson many years ago and it changed my life. Too often our communication is driven by a need to prove how smart we are or how right we are. But ask yourself: What’s the point? Before speaking, pause and reflect: Why am I saying this? If your honest answer is, “Because I believe it will make a positive difference,” then go ahead and say it. If not, the best choice may be to 'shut up' and say nothing. This simple filter has saved me time, reduced unnecessary conflict, and made my conversations far more meaningful. If this reminder helps you even once, it will have been a good use of my time and energy. Life is good. Marshall Please try out MarshallGoldsmith.ai. It may help you make a positive difference. It is free. It is getting better and better.

Some years are for building. Some are for enjoying. Some are for giving. No one can be everything, to everyone, every day. You don’t have to be. My surveys consistently show that you, my readers, are often too hard on yourselves. You want to be exceptional at work, a wonderful friend and family member, stay in great physical condition, and somehow, in your spare time, make the world a better place. You cannot do it all at once. As Rumi suggests, make peace with the changing seasons of your life. Some years may be focused on achievement. Some on family and relationships. Some on health and renewal. It is OK. There is only one suggestion I have for every season: learn to enjoy the process of life itself. At this stage of my life, one lesson has become very clear. The seasons pass quickly. Enjoy them.

When someone disagrees with us, our first instinct is often to prove that we are right and they are wrong. Unfortunately, this instinct can get in the way of learning. One of the most useful habits I have tried to develop is making positive assumptions about other people. Unless proven otherwise, I try to assume that they mean well. I try to assume they are intelligent. I try to assume that their perspective comes from experiences that may be different from my own. Sometimes I fail, if I remember I try. People do not have to be wrong simply because they are different. When we stop focusing on winning the argument, we create an opportunity to understand. We begin to see the world through another person's eyes. Sometimes we learn something new. Sometimes we discover common ground. Occasionally, we even change our minds. Listening does not mean agreeing. Respect does not require surrendering our beliefs. It simply means being open to the possibility that another person may see something we do not. And who knows? We may end up agreeing with them after all. Life is good. Marshall

There is no one best way to lead people. This is one of the most important lessons taught to me by my mentor, Dr. Paul Hersey. Great leaders understand that different people need different types of leadership at different times and with different assignments. What helps one person succeed in one situation may not help another person in a different situation. The best leaders pay attention. They listen. They adapt. They remain flexible as people change, circumstances change and the world changes. Leadership is not about forcing everyone into the same mold. It is about understanding people well enough to help them grow and succeed in their own unique way. This requires humility, empathy and the willingness to keep learning. Great leaders are always ready to “start over” with fresh understanding as people evolve over time. The more we understand the needs of others, the more effectively we can help them become the people they are capable of becoming. Life is good. Marshall

“The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.” This quote is inspired by Norman Vincent Peale. This problem is incredibly easy to see in others. It is incredibly difficult to see in ourselves. Over the years, I have spent a great deal of my life giving feedback, often very direct and very challenging feedback, to extremely powerful and successful people. What did I learn? The leaders who truly improved were not the ones who basked in praise or surrounded themselves with agreeable voices. They were the ones who had the courage to look in the mirror, the humility to admit they could improve, and the discipline required to actually do the work required to get better. As leaders, we need to pay close attention to the people who surround us. Are they helping us see reality - or hiding us from reality? Even very successful leaders can slowly begin believing their own press. When that happens, growth stops. As Dr. Peale reminds us, leadership is not about being praised. It is about being honest with ourselves. Great leaders would rather be saved by criticism rather than ruined by praise. Life is good. Marshall

If we want other people to share their perceptions and help us see our blind spots, we need to learn how to be quiet. Many leaders ask for feedback and then immediately begin explaining, defending themselves, correcting details, or proving why the other person is wrong. The moment we argue with another person's perception, we teach them to stop sharing it. If you ask for input, listen. Do not rate it. Do not rebut it. Do not justify yourself. Just listen. Ancient wisdom teaches us, “The quieter we become, the more we hear.” That lesson is as valuable today as it was centuries ago. The next time you ask someone for an opinion, resist the urge to explain your side of the story. Listen quietly. You do not have to agree with everything you hear. You do not have to act on every suggestion. But you do need to hear it. Then say two simple words: “Thank you.” Life is good. Marshall

Everything in life changes. In our professional lives, industries change, organizations change, and jobs change. Success itself is temporary. What worked yesterday may not work tomorrow. In our personal lives, relationships change, priorities change, and we change. The person you are today is not the same person you were years ago. In Buddhist philosophy, change is not viewed as a tragedy. It is simply part of life. We feel sorrow when we ask temporary moments to never change. A sandcastle was never meant to last forever. The joy was in building it together. Life keeps changing. That is not the problem. It is the gift. Enjoy creating meaningful moments with people you respect and love. Appreciate the season you are in while it is here. Learn to let go with gratitude instead of fear. Life is good. Marshall

There is a reason the windshield of your car is enormous and your rearview mirror is tiny. What is happening in front of you is infinitely more important than what is behind you. Yet, so many of us spend our lives staring into that little mirror. We ruminate on past failures. We replay arguments we lost. Or, just as dangerously, we rest on the laurels of past successes, thinking what worked yesterday will work tomorrow. Mary Engelbreit’s quote in this illustration is a reality check: "You're not going that way." To move forward, you have to accept the past entirely - the good, the bad, and the ugly - and then let it go. You cannot drive safely while looking backwards. Catch yourself when you start dwelling on a mistake from last week or last year. Ask yourself: "What is the next positive step I can take?" Keep your eyes on the road ahead. Life is good. Marshall Please visit MarshallGoldsmith.ai and start asking questions. It can now answer in many languages and it is free!

Life would be so much easier if we could just make them love each other! Unfortunately, it doesn't quite work out that way. Many leaders want all of their team members to love each other. Many more family members wants all of their family members to love each other. We can want whatever we want. At the end of the day, they are responsible for their own lives. We can not be responsible for other people's emotions. One leader I coached had four teenage daughters, who were constantly fighing with each other and his wife, their mother. His wife could not stand to be around his mother. The cousins lived nearby and occasionally added more combatants to the ongling war. He looked at me with hopeful eyes and said, "You are the coach. Help me! How can I make them all get along? I laughed and said, "I was just ranked as the #1 Leadership Coach in the World. I am not that good!" My advice to him was simple, "Love them all as best you can. Then, take a deep breath and 'let it go'. Life is good. Marshall

Dream big! Then put in the time and engergy needed to make it happen. I have led an incredibly fortunate life. In my journey, I have met many incredible achievers from different fields and different cultures. They all had a had a few things in common. They set very high goals. They worked very hard. And they met their commitments. When they made a promise, they did everything they could to live up to it. It is great to dream. It is also great to make and keep the commitments required to make your dream happen. The bigger your dream. The greater your promises to others. The more will be expected from you do make it happen. Life is good. Marshall Please visit MarshallGoldsmith.ai for some great ideas.

Drop the L from IDEAL and you get IDEA. That is more than wordplay. It is how positive change begins. An ideal does not sustain itself. Ideas bring it to life, one possibility, one experiment, and one small step at a time. Neuroscience supports the power of imagining our ideal self. Brain-imaging research suggests that focusing on the person we hope to become activates systems associated with vision, openness, engagement, and connection with others. The positive effects can remain evident days later. I call the result the three O’s: Optimistic. Open-minded. Opportunity-aware. When we enter this state, we collaborate more effectively. We become more empathetic. We see possibilities that we might otherwise overlook. Most importantly, we feel energized about the future rather than trapped by the past. Show me a leader who would not want to get there. So drop the L. Start with an idea. Then another. Let your ideas move you toward your ideal. Life is good. Keep on designing your life to make it better. Ayse Birsel + Marshall Goldsmith

Lasting change requires lasting effort. From my experience, there is no “quick fix” or “easy answer” that leads to meaningful change over time. I have spent more than 45 years coaching great leaders around the world. While their intelligence, talent, and dedication vary, this one lesson is always the same. Even the most brilliant leaders do not improve through a single insight, workshop, or decision. Real change happens when they commit to a process and stay with it. They practice. They reflect. They adjust. And they keep going, even when progress feels slow or uncomfortable. Sustainable change is not dramatic. It is quiet, repetitive, and often invisible to others. It shows up in daily choices, consistent behavior, and the willingness to keep learning long after the excitement has faded. If you want to get better as a leader, do not look for shortcuts. Commit to the work. Stay engaged. Keep moving forward. It is hard work and it is worth it! Life is good! Marshall Goldsmith Please visit MarshallGoldsmith.ai and ask as many questions as you wish. It is fun and it is free!

The next time you hear yourself saying, “I am no good at that,” ask yourself, “Why not?” I am impatient. I get easily bored. I always give people “a piece of my mind.” I have never been able to listen. I do not like giving people positive recognition. I am always disorganized. I am just no good at… Over the years, as a coach, I have heard every one of these self-stereotyping statements from otherwise intelligent, capable, and decent people. My first question is simple: “Do you have some kind of incurable genetic defect that prohibits you from being good at this?” They always laugh and say, “No.” Then I say, “Raise your right hand and repeat after me: I can change if I want to.” As a person, look in the mirror. Quit stereotyping yourself. As a coach or leader, challenge the people you are helping to look in the mirror as well. The real question is not, "Can I change?" The real question is, "Why not?" Life is good. Marshall Please visit MarshallGoldsmith.ai. It might help you in you journey to be the person you want to be.

It’s wonderful to have goals. Don't forget to celebrate when you achieve them! As we grow older and achieve more, it is fine to keep 'setting the bar' higher and higher. But here’s something I’ve learned from working with many high achievers: We get are so focused on the next big thing, we forget to pause and appreciate the last one. Please don’t forget to “declare victory” when you’ve earned it. Take a moment. Smile. Enjoy your successes - even the small ones. You don’t need a trophy or a parade to celebrate. You just need to give yourself permission to say: “Yes, I did that. That was good.” I’ve seen this pattern over and over again in the research I’ve done with people like you. You care. You try hard. And too often, you're too hard on yourself. Keep being a high achiever. Keep striving. Enjoy your everyday wins. You’ve earned them. Life is good. Marshall

In the new world, loving what you do will not be a bonus. It will be a requirement. The future belongs to the curious, the driven, and, most importantly, the passionate. Hard work and constant growth are now the baseline. Enjoying the journey is no longer optional. If you're not in love with your work, the world will wear you down. If you are, it will lift you up. Life is good. Marshall Please visit MarshallGoldsmith.ai. It is now available in 32 languages. We are having a contest for my readers who ask questions in Hindi! People who do not speak English have been at a huge disadvantage. I hope that my project helps them. Thank you Fractal for supporting me in this effort!

Think of a person who makes you feel bad, guilty, angry, or crazy. How much sleep is that person losing over you tonight? Probably none. Who is being punished? You. Who is doing the punishing? You. Let it go. When we hold on to resentment, we carry the pain long after the moment has passed. The other person may have moved on, forgotten, or never even realized the impact. Yet we replay the story again and again in our mind. Letting go is not about saying what happened was acceptable. It is about making peace and moving on. Let it go. Life is good. Marshall

We talk WAY too much about how smart WE are and how stupid THEY are! Why? We don't have to do this. My latest LinkedIn survey indicates the average person is seen as spending 4.5 hour per week complaining about the company, their boss or their co-workers. That adds up to 225 hours per year. If a company has 1,000 employees, that is 225,000 hours. Spend half of that 'complaining' time working out and you will be in great shape! Before speaking, have the discipline 'to ask yourself, "Why am I saying this?" If the answer is 'to make a positive difference'. Great! If the answer is 'to prove I am right or I am smart' - or even worse 'to put them down'. Maybe not. Life is good. Marshall Please visit MarshallGoldsmith.ai.

"Great leaders, like great coaches, ask the right questions." The best leaders aren’t the ones with all the answers. They’re the ones who are still willing to learn. Being coachable doesn’t mean you’re weak—it means you’re strong enough to grow. If you can’t be challenged, you can’t get better. And if you’re done improving, you’re done leading.

A problem with success. If you take the good offer, you may miss the great offer! I have coached many extremely successful leaders including Deanna Mulligan. After very successful years at Guardian Life, she was wise enough to 'leave at the top'. As with most of my wonderful clients she had lots of opportunities. This quote not only helped her in determining her next steps, it helped her help other leaders in the same fortunate position. This same logic applies to successful leaders in any booming market. You cannot to it all. Do not get over-committed on 'good' and leave no space for 'great'. I would love your reflections. Marshall

"We spend more time designing our home remodel than designing our life." Ayse (Eye-Shay) Birsel has helped - and is helping - me design my life! For example, this is one exercise you can apply immediately. Write down the names of two of your heroes. Then write down WHY these people are your heroes. Then ask, "How can I be more like the person who is a hero to me?" Design YOUR life around the answer to this question. Today over half of all of the professional time that I spend has been influenced by my answer to this question and her coaching on designing my life. Thank you Ayse! Life is good. Marshall