I believe we grow in anything by acts of that very thing. Want to grow in courage? Commit to actions aligned with courage. Want to grow in assertiveness. Commit to acts aligned with being assertive. I not only lead and coach leaders this way, I often remind my sons of this principle. Tonight, my eldest scored the sudden death game winning basket in triple overtime of his club basketball game (yup… sudden death at 11 years old). This came after missing two game winning free throws just a few minutes before. After the game, he pointed out that his team could’ve won sooner had he made those free throws. I then started to ask him… “How do learn to make game winning shots?” He knew the answer. “By taking game winning shots.” He had put himself in a position to take those first shots which gave him the confidence to take the final shot when it truly mattered most. If you want to grow in anything, you need to take the shot.

I watched a father pray over his oldest son yesterday. The son then turned and prayed over his younger brother. They were parting ways for the day’s various sports happenings for the family. It was one of the most powerful displays of leadership I have seen in all my life. And I am not prideful enough to say I desire that same kind of intentionality and love for my sons. Grateful to have been a witness.

One of the simplest ways our family has conversations about Jesus has been through watching The Chosen together. As the next season is soon to be released, we are watching the current episodes. My boys’ curiosity is a gift.

Be people who create value and you'll be a value add to every space and relationship you're part of. Take it or leave it... if you will shift how you relate to value, you'll create value in any and all circumstances in your life. And you'll be better for it too.

What are questions you ask yourself or others have asked you that have you exploring and mining the answers?

Who are your WE helping you to become, grow, and transform? As a pastor of 18 years, I was surrounded by loads of people who looked like my WE. And then I had six months of dark suicidal ideation. I shared it with none of my WE. That was on ME. The moment I brought my WE into the ME game, everything changed. Just because you're living amongst a WE does not mean you're living the WE game. Invite them into hearing you, experiencing the authentic you, and sharing feedback with you. Don't know how to ask for feedback or share? DM me, I'll provide you a framework to dial up your WE game and, as a result, your life.

One of the greatest leadership challenges: EVERY leader vastly underestimates what they are capable of. Ask me how.

If you’re a parent of a high school student and wanting to help them think through what to pursue in life that’s aligned to more than just “whatever makes money,” find where these three things intersect in your child’s life: 1. Natural talents that can be developed into strengths 2. What they are passionate about (willing to suffer discomfort in growth and transformation to experience) 3. The opportunities that naturally arise from the top two that account for multiple options creating excitement.

I recently told someone that my clientele is made up of founders and CEOs leading wildly successful companies all the while vastly underestimating what they are capable of ALL the time. And I LOVE working with them ALL. Know why? Because the moment they start realizing their power, authority, and agency EVERYTHING changes. So, if you’re a point leader of an organization and you’re questioning why you’re leading it, that’s a conversation I’d love to have with you. I guarantee you’ll walk away better for it.

What is your relationship with failure? What is your relationship with suffering? What is your relationship with uncertainty. Etc. Like any relationship, you can choose to change it.

I’m officially blue checked. I wasn’t waiting for it though. Didn’t need to.

The Question The question that changed things for the CEO who saved $50k more than his goal: "How are you sabotaging your own vision?" His answer: "I lead believing I have all the responsibility in the world and no authority to do anything about it." Once he heard himself say it, he couldn't unhear it. That's usually how change starts.

The Question If you trusted yourself fully, what's one conversation you'd have this week?

The Lesson IF you want to raise the ceiling for your team, start by finding where you set your own. Leaders underestimate themselves in quiet ways. Then, without meaning to, they underestimate their people too. Here's a three-part audit I walk leaders through. 1. The goal. Look at your biggest goal this quarter. Did you set it at what's impossible, or at what's safe? Most leaders shave 20% off before they ever say it out loud. Ask: what would I aim for if I trusted myself fully? 2. The stretch. What's sitting on your desk that someone on your team could grow into? If your answer is "nobody's ready," ask whether that's true or whether you're not ready to let go. 3. The conversation. Who on your team needs to hear what you actually believe they're capable of? Not a vague "great job." Something specific: "I think you could run this. Here's why." Your belief about yourself shows up in your goals, your delegation and your words. Your team reads all three. Raise yours, and you lead them to raise theirs.

I am honored to be part of a coaching firm that is transforming the landscape of leadership and what is possible for people!

The Pattern A team rarely grows past what its leader believes is possible for themselves.

The Proof A pattern I see in almost every leader I coach: Decisive with strategy. Confident with clients. Then they fold in feedback conversations with their own people. They say "no worries" when there are worries. Then stay late fixing what the team didn't do. The late nights aren't a work ethic problem. They're an authority problem.

The Question What decision have you handed back to your team "for input" that was really yours to make?

If you become an expert receiver in feedback you will go further faster.

The Lesson Three ways capable leaders give their authority away without noticing, and what to say instead. 1. Asking when you mean telling. You say: "Does that make sense?" You mean: "This is the decision." Say instead: "This is the decision. What questions do you have?" The first invites a vote. The second invites collaboration and action. 2. Redoing the work instead of naming the gap. It's faster to fix it yourself tonight than to have the conversation tomorrow. Once. But every quiet fix teaches the team the standard is optional. Say instead: "This isn't where it needs to be. Here's the gap. Here's what good looks like. Can you commit to having it back Thursday?" 3. Waiting for consensus on your call. Input is valuable. Consensus on every decision is abdication. Say instead: "I've heard everyone. Here's where I'm landing and why." Each of these feels considerate in the moment. Over time, they add up to a team that doesn't quite know who's leading.Authority rarely gets taken from leaders. It gets handed over, one small softening at a time. The good news: you can step into yours the same way. One decision at a time.