When a girl is wearing shorts and there's half an inch of cheek hanging out. Yeah I'm #into that

I was watching a movie on my best friend's Netflix account last night and he cancelled the service right when I had 28 minutes left

One of my "15 minutes of fame" moments was when Reebok collaborated with Walmart and paid me $5,000 to shoot a commercial at my gym. youtu.be/-IfqubJP1YA?is=6eKT… via @YouTube

Yeah just me me tonight thanks. Crispy chicken sandwich

Maybe there would be less terrorism if chips and guac weren't $18

Ever since I decided to shave my head bald, I've had exactly 3 women tell me that I'm "intimidating", which is three more times than I've been told and the other 28 years of my life

Why subscribe to only fans when girls just post straight cheeks on main

Almost every single time I'm getting to know a girl with larger than average boobs, I feel like she can sense the pressure I put on myself to perform, and it scares her off. My texts get a little bit erratic, she can feel the tension, and like a deer in headlights, she gets scared and runs away. I think I'm just destined to be with a girl with small naturals.

I don't workout to feel better, look good, or even for my health. I workout to post that I worked out on Instagram and to prove that I am better than other people

This is what it looks like to do 55 deadlifts at 245 lbs, 55 bench presses at 165 lbs, and 55 squat cleans at 125 lbs in 27 minutes

Can you guess the exact weight of each barbell? HINT: the barbell is 45lbs.

My ex-girlfriend had a ClassPass membership... She blocked me and won't text me back, so I decided to list my gym on ClassPass. Now I will be running an ad campaign in her neighborhood so she sees me and my gym every time she logs in

The men on this app might be horny, but the women are perverts. There's a difference

People don't really like to hear this, but the only way to achieve the thing that you want is through endless hard work and dedication. Pursuing a worthwhile goal does not come without suffering and sacrifice either. Not to mention rejection and lots of failure. If you can continue to work hard through the suffering, rejection, and sacrifice you will be very happy with where you end up, Even if you don't reach your goal, you can still be proud of the effort that you made instead of living with the regret of not trying.

When a Latina tells you that you're her first "gringo" who's taken her out, yeah, I like that

So this black couple walks out of the elevator while me and the girl are waiting. The guy is wearing a purple bath robe with a red shower cap... I stepped into the elevator with the Girl, and I said, "that's a crazy outfit to be wearing in public." Meanwhile, the girl I'm in the elevator with is wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt, clearly dressed down. She goes, "uhh, are you talking to me?" We both started laughing and I said, "oh my god no, who do you think i'm talking about" Shared a good laugh. Saved what could've been an otherwise bad first impression

I just told a joke to a girl in my apartment coming up the elevator and she laughed so hard. That's how you leave an impression and make a girl yearn for you for the next week. Next time I see her, she'll definitely remember me

First date idea you come over and shave my head bald for me and then every 2 weeks for the rest of my life

Listing my gym on ClassPass for 90 days to see if it has any effect on brand awareness, memberships, and revenue. 99.9% of gym owner reviews are negative, but I figured I would at least try it for myself to find out.

I just got an instagram ad of a woman getting a lymphatic drainage massage fully nude with her ass cheeks and pussy out