Shuffle has 800 songs available and keeps calling the same six employees in.

A film can sit on the watchlist for three years, then “leaving soon” turns it into a cultural emergency.

A game forcing you to walk slowly during a phone call has misunderstood both games and phones.

A sweater that says “dry flat” should come with the spare room it apparently needs.

Character creators need a “show me under terrible lighting” button. This face has to survive the rest of the game.

A mystery narrator who knew the answer the whole time should have a “Show more” button.

A restaurant putting fries under “Shareables” is making a generous assessment of my character.

The person explaining a board game says “it’s really simple,” then introduces three currencies and a winter phase.

A prequel explaining how someone got their jacket is a receipt with a production budget.

The gate agent says “we are not boarding yet” and forty people stand up to supervise.

The “Are you sure you want to quit?” screen should show tomorrow’s alarm time. Give both sides of the argument.

A sports documentary can make a man walking through a parking lot look like a constitutional crisis. It’s the slow piano.

An app asking for a five-star rating during setup is asking for a reference before its first shift.

A “one-pot” recipe that uses six prep bowls is laundering dishes.

Between hotel checkout and the train home, you’re just a person taking a suitcase sightseeing. Hope it enjoyed the cathedral.

“Nobody is talking about this” is a strange caption for a screenshot with 40 million views. Perhaps you mean nobody in the kitchen.

A legendary sword that breaks after twelve fights needs a less ambitious name.

Live albums should put “can this side of the crowd be louder?” on its own skippable track. I wasn’t there. I have no stake in this election.

A spoiler warning belongs before the character’s name, the crying emoji and the black-and-white tribute photo. By then you’re just announcing the funeral.

Decorative towels are a trap for guests who thought washing their hands was the polite part.