D.F. Yonkman (@dfyonkman) header
D.F. Yonkman (@dfyonkman) profile picture

Sixth best Mario Tennis player in the world. Nail-biter, perspirator.™

ny ny
Joined January 2009
Photo by D.F. Yonkman (@dfyonkman)Photo by D.F. Yonkman (@dfyonkman)Photo by D.F. Yonkman (@dfyonkman)Photo by D.F. Yonkman (@dfyonkman)Photo by D.F. Yonkman (@dfyonkman)Photo by D.F. Yonkman (@dfyonkman)Photo by D.F. Yonkman (@dfyonkman)Photo by D.F. Yonkman (@dfyonkman)Photo by D.F. Yonkman (@dfyonkman)Photo by D.F. Yonkman (@dfyonkman)
In the name of all things holy, why did we never release this promo? Honest question for @guster #whoopsithinkijustreleasedit
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My emotional mask only comes off for Grogu.
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Little bit of Lawry’s salt and...
At least 240,000 chickens were killed Thursday when a fire swept through two densely packed barns in Florida owned by one of the largest distributors of shell eggs in the U.S., the authorities said. nyti.ms/34oTESL
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It’s just locker room talk.
Biden Campaign Manager called us “F***ers” !!! She can try to walk back, but this says volumes about her boss who calls for “unity” while shouting that we are “assaulting democracy:” They think we are deplorable, irredeemable “F***ers”. SICK‼️ politico.com/news/2020/12/17…
.@DorisKGoodwin has anyone in a president’s inner circle ever had a funnier month?
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.@sethmeyers the whole @mikescollins wore a tank top odyssey has been one of my favorite bits of late night tv show jackassery in a long, long time.
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Febreeze. I bet it’s Febreeze.
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You know how they say we’re addicted to our phones because we’re chasing a dopamine high that will never come? Yeah, well, not today. This is some 100% pure Cupertinan shit.
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“So as to correct a slovenly monk’s miscalculation of our solar orbit, the Gregorian map of days shall contain a 29th day of February each fourth year henceforth. Furthermore, it shall give those dudes who run the big ballot touchscreens an extra day of rest each election year.”
Don’t be a jerk about it.
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You ever wonder why “flabbergasted” isn’t a more commonly used word? Because I sure do.
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The arc of history is long but it bends toward dipshittery.
The Algorithm hit me right square in the bullseye with this targeted ad. #sold
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The benchmark birthdays (30 or 40, for example) seem to hit you in waves. Like, I turned 40 a few months ago but it wasn’t until tonight that I said the words “a CupFone might be a be a smart purchase” out loud.
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🎵Imagine all the medication🎵 🎶Lipitor to start each daaaay🎶
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CORRECTION: Earlier today I incorrectly posted a photo of @TheNational in regards to the Michigan militia. I sincerely apologize and have corrected the error below.
Militia began kidnapping plot shortly after Trump praised armed anti-Whitmer protesters as ‘very good people’ dlvr.it/RjCxs3
BREAKING: First photo of men indicted in Michigan militia plot.
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Pretty fly for a white guy.
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I don’t love the smell of fascism in the morning.
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