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Dad Fiction (@DadFiction) profile picture

Both married. 1 pooped his pants at 35 and again at 37. 1 podcast. Infinite whiskey.

San Diego, CA
Joined May 2018
Photo by Dad Fiction (@DadFiction)Photo by Dad Fiction (@DadFiction)Photo by Dad Fiction (@DadFiction)Photo by Dad Fiction (@DadFiction)Photo by Dad Fiction (@DadFiction)Photo by Dad Fiction (@DadFiction)Photo by Dad Fiction (@DadFiction)Photo by Dad Fiction (@DadFiction)Photo by Dad Fiction (@DadFiction)
That's one small step for man...and one giant...... I have a dream!
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We got your back, New York!
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
Several figures here aren’t federal results or NY-specific. The $472B combines US wide pledges: Micron's $250B is nationwide (NY site $100B) Anthropic's $50B covers TX and NY. The 48% murder drop is from NY's state run GIVE program (28 departments, Jan – May 2026). arkolith.com/news/news-micr… therepublic.com/?p=843020 governor.ny.gov/news/safer-str…
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Super proud of him. I coached Jimmy in middle school. Absolutely amazing kid, phenomenal athlete.
Congrats to Jim Jarvis on getting his first MLB base knock.
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When the DOJ (under President Nixon) sued him in 1973, saying he violated the Fair Housing Act by refusing to lease to black tenants— you said “he’s not racist”… When he had his black employees removed from his casino floors while he was present in the 80s— you said “he’s not racist”… When he took out a full page ad in the NYT/NYDN/NYP/NYND newspapers in 1989, to call for the death penalty against the 4 black & 1 latino kids known as the ‘Central Park Five’ (who were exonerated)— you said “he’s not racist”… When he was quoted in John O’Donnell’s 1991 book saying “Black guys counting my money! I hate it… I think that the [black] guy is lazy. And it’s probably not his fault, because laziness is a trait in blacks. It really is, I believe that. It’s not anything they can control”— you said “he’s not racist”… When he had to pay a $200K fine in 1992 for kicking black dealers off tables at the Trump Plaza & Hotel Casino to accommodate high rollers— you said “he’s not racist”… When he confirmed, in 1997, “the stuff O’Donnell wrote about me is probably true”— you said “he’s not racist”… When he publicly pitched (2005) that his show ‘The Apprentice’ should do a season of blacks vs whites— you said “he’s not racist”… When he started to slander and libel President Obama’s U.S. citizenship status in 2011, repeatedly, because his middle name is “Hussein”— you said “he’s not racist”… When David Duke (infamous leader of the KKK) endorsed him for President in 2015, and he failed to decry the infamously vile white supremacist’s support— you said “he’s not racist”… When he has repeatedly harassed, disparaged, and publicly admonished the likes of the Obama’s & their children, Kamala Harris, the late John Lewis, and many other black political leaders— you said “he’s not racist”… ———— He has 5+ decades of being racist PUBLICLY and you still refuse to acknowledge that Donald Trump is and always has been a racist. Him posting an Ai generated video depicting Michelle & Barack Obama as apes (a repugnant racial trope, that is as old as this country itself, used to disparage black Americans) on HIS SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNT, is yet another example of why he is the embodiment of “when someone shows you who they are, believe them” This isn’t debatable. He is despicable. He has zero class as a human being. And you’re just as disgusting as him if you try to gaslight us into believing his abhorrent post was anything other than what he meant it to be: a racist depiction of a former POTUS/First Lady.
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Dad Fiction retweeted
if a federal agent kills you for impeding an investigation, that is called murder. if a federal agent kills you for kicking them in the shin as hard as you can, that is called murder. if a federal agent kills you for throwing dogshit at them and blowing a whistle while packing heat, that is called murder. here in this fucking country, you go to a court and you get sentenced by a judge. “fuck around and find out” is not legally binding. idc what your stance is on ice as a whole, immigration, whatever. we witnessed a murder yesterday in broad daylight. end of story.
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Truth is You never pick up all the dog poop You can't pluck all the gray hairs Your car will never be clean when you have kids Body lotion is not toothpaste.
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Did you ever go pee and try and time the flush perfectly with you finishing? I never win.
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Found out my kids spring break is 1 more day. What kinda BS is this!
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Dad Fiction retweeted
Sometimes, you need Samuel L. Jackson to play you in a commercial...
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funniest line of the episode by miles, Roy is stealing scenes like a thief in the night this season #tedlasso
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I've been married has-pictures-of-the-bed-we-sleep-in-at-my-in-laws-saved-on-my-phone-so-I-know-how-to-arrange-all-of-the-throw-pillows-when-we-leave years.
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Another brilliant take by the guy who shit his pants on air. Bravo, bud 👌
You can say you were interested in SD state you can’t say you CARED about SD State if you chose to go to a Padres game and sit there early only to have the game moved off the big screen to announce a Rockies lineup. The real Aztec fans didn’t go to Petco. Fact
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THE BAND IS GETTING BACK TOGETHER!!!!!!! Dad Fiction will back with new, ridiculous episodes coming soon!!!
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- @TheTrentCrimm, Independent - What did you expect, @RottenTomatoes? I wouldn't have missed it. 😏
Replying to @RottenTomatoes
Of course Trent Crimm showed up to ask a question.
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- @TheTrentCrimm, Independent - It's better if you imagine @jasonsudeikis saying: "Oh wait, I forgot I'm left-handed" right as he walked up to shoot and "barbecue sauce" as the ball is in the air. #TedLasso #Knicks
Ted Lasso is a two-sport athlete 🏀 🎥 @nyknicks | @jasonsudeikis
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Reflecting on what happened 27 years ago today
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wife: please be careful with that box...you remember the bead incident narrator: of course he remembered the bead incident. it was may, 2017. he'd decided surprise her by organizing the closet; ironically, it was him who would soon be surprised.
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Let's give away one more @PaniniAmerica card - the @Lions & @NFL fans love the new batch of #PersonalSamples they sent over for me to give away - so retweet this and follow me for a chance to win this triple inscribed #prizm beauty - #SandersSponsors
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