Danny Muffins

I still can't tell if RVs are a sign of wealth or poverty.

Goddamn Halloween is a lot scarier looking at these candy prices

I'm not putting on a fucking tie to interview with your AI avatar. These companies are out of their minds.

Watson didn't touch those girls. #Browns

Depends how early it is... #WhatILikeAndDontLike

If Watson wins the division for us I'll give him a handy myself. #Browns

One thing we can all agree on is letting everybody on the internet was a mistake.

I’m much better qualified to give the D.A.R.E speech now than I was in sixth grade

The best part of baggy being in style is I can finally try a Magnum condom.

Watching Tires and I'm 99% sure I saw Tony Yayo in episode 2.

I'm so grateful that I don't feel strong enough about Israel to post about it.

She takes a long ways to get somewhere and never quite lands. It's frustrating as a listener. Love the topic though!

Weird how Carley Simon’s “You’re So Vain” is also about Dave Coulier.

Fewer feelings worse than waking up to take a shit.

I don’t know why my wife can’t understand that I can either be sober or I can hold down a job.

Is 40 too young for a “do not resuscitate” bracelet?

Starting to think those Heaven's Gate people nailed it.

In the 90s I was positive the keytar was going to change music as we knew it.

I feel bad for the soldiers who die because the President wants to change the subject…

If I start a story with "my friend told me..." I definitely heard it on a podcast.