Dead County

Q: What do you call a zombie pollster? A: A DEAD ringer!

Q: What kind of candy do zombies refuse to eat? A: LIFE Savers!

Q: What does a zombie get when he's late for dinner? A: The cold SHOULDER!

Q: What would a monster's psychiatrist be called? A: Shrinkenstein...

Q: Why does a cemetery have to keep a fence around it? A: Because people are dying to get in.

Q: What's a zombies favorite desert? A: I-Scream!

Q: What do you call a zombie with lots of children? A: A MOMster!

Q: Did you hear about the new zombie dating book? A: It's called "DYING To Meet You!"

Q: What do all the Apple shareholder zombies keep telling Tim Cook? A: We're DYING to have YOU for dinner!

Q: Why do zombies only date intelligent women? A: They just love a woman with BRAAAINS!

Q: Did you hear about the zombie comic book? A: It's called YOLO and it's full of irony.

Q: What's a zombies favorite bean? A: A human bean.

Q: How does a zombie introduce himself? A: By saying "Pleased to eat you."

Q: Why did "The Walking Dead" win an Emmy? A: DEADication!

Q: Why did the zombie go to the hospital? A: He wanted to learn some SICK jokes!

Q: Why do zombies make good ringtones? A: They produce lots of sound BITES!

Q: Where do zombies eat dinner? A: The LIVING room!

Q: Why did the zombie go to the dentist? A: To improve his BITE!

Q: Why did the zombie eat the archer? A: He wanted his bone and marrow.

Q: Did you hear about the big zombie party? A: It was DEAD & full of STIFFS!