Dean Chittenden

Just asked a meijer employee where the pumpkins are and he proceeded to tell me that they have a lot of pumpkins and pointed directly at the squash.

I was today's year old when I found out instagram has their own Instagram page you can follow. They only have like 600 million followers. Like step it up instagram.

I just snooped through years of tweets. What a way to realize you are never growing as much as you think.

Ann Burgess is my new hero. She's literally so fucking cool and innovative.

Judge Davenport of Rutherford County was literally Dolores Umbridge from Harry Potter. @jk_rowling

Is Twitter the new Tumblr? We forget we have many months and go back put in all the wrong passwords just to post one time. Okay well I'll see you guys next year.

Sometimes I pay for gas inside the gas station and then drive off without pumping it

I had a moment today where I couldn't see something very well and I thought "I should turn the brightness up on my eyes". What is happening to us?

Everywhere I go people either think I'm an employee or the musician of the band playing that night. I don't understand how those correlate.

We were starting up the POS system at work and it was taking forever. My boss goes "POS=Piece of shit". I really can't believe I never thought of that.

I'm going to try and start using this thing again. I think we should all start saying "Love you" at the end of every customer service conversation. Only because my buddy accidentally said it to his client.

The opening track to @TheAvalanches new album is heart wrenching. I haven't heard something that personal in a long while. It's a masterpiece beginning to a record.

Valentines day: Friendly reminder from corporate America that you very single and make sure all your friends rub it in your face all day.

Listen... Legend Of Korra is a very incredible show. I have watched it about 8 times now. Ill admit it ends a little sloppy last season but besides that I would its potentially as good if not better than Avatar the last Airbender.

So Fleabag is my favorite show now.

Hey everyone. I have a lot of music coming this year. I have dumped my heart into these songs and I hope you love them. This friday my first single for my 2nd album is coming out! It's called "Spring Grass"

Happy birthday @conoroberst we love you very very very very very very very very much.

I'm just gonna say it now. The day Ian mckellen or Tom Hanks dies time will freeze and it is gonna be as sad as the passing of Robin Williams.