DickWrigley.lol on BlueSky

.@AmazonMGMStudio It's not too late to #SaveStargate. @MartinGero is one of the few people I'd trust to bring back the 'gate.

I just told someone, "@KyleKinane is an artisan storyteller of the highest caliber who truly elevates the artform of standup far beyond the setup-punchline schema." I don't even talk like that. For nine seconds, I got possessed by a writer for the New Yorker who died in the 80s.

"Have your friends collect your records and then change your number." You might send friends for your things when you're afraid. You only change your number when someone won't stop calling. That song slaps, but I think maybe Gotye does too.

Just saw someone comment "art's right us" when they meant "arthritis," and I don't know if text-to-speech is on that bs again or if they really typed that shit.

I can't shop on Amazon anymore. Need a soldering iron? Here's 900 pieces of identical shit with made up brand names like IUYWETN stamped in white ink that rubs off for anywhere between $9 and $73. Each comes with suction cups, a hairbrush, and a guarantee to burn your house down.

If I was president, my first order of business would be to fix this fucky state name issue facing our country. West Virginia has to change its name and we’re flipping a coin for the Dakotas and Carolinas. Michigan’s upper peninsula… North Michigan. Boom. Curve ball.

Approx 147 years ago, I bought "The Game is to be Sold" at Walmart, and not only was it censored, but it was done so with a DJ record scratch sound effect over every single cuss word, and I'm still mad at @Walmart, @SnoopDogg, and @MasterPMiller.

I hate useless Reddit bots so much. I hardly spend any time on Reddit, but if given a choice between ending racism and Reddit bots, I'd be asking my black friends, "You're kind of just used to it now though, right?"

They say, "Never look back," but what if you just hit a pedestrian with your car and need a good laugh?

#PS4share store.playstation.com/#!/tid…

I can't believe Taylor Swift had all seven Dragon Balls on her Eras Tour.

No, it's ghost pepper as in the pepper isn't really there.