.@NobelPrize I present this for your consideration

I even missed a kick in it

This is a good deal but I can’t risk stepping on legos

Matt Nagy to Oklahoma, per sources

Is there anything worse than when your wife won't let you use the SEALED jar of gravy you found in the back of the pantry that expired last October?

Look at these long-ass grapes

Today I realized triathlon isn’t spelled/pronounced triathalon #TheMoreYouKnow #triathalon

Oh no, they made the Kars for Kids commercial so much worse #cubs #OpeningDay

*First tweet since October* For lent @FiveGuys needs to re-brand to Five Lads and sell fish and chips.

The worst part of losing to Tennessee is catching yourself humming Rocky Top for the rest of the day #MIZvsTENN

Now up for sale in the KC area. $200 OBO

it's McRib night

Last night, I had the wild idea to make my own McRib out of actual meat and I just can't get over it

Wearing a mask in public is making me realize that I need to stop smiling at people when they walk by

Our new neighborhood has a concerning amount of ice cream truck traffic

#SDSMailbag @AdamSpencer4 who has the best SEC Specialty Hot Dog?

Somebody buy these facebook.com/marketplace/ite…

I told a guy at the gas station to take the 49ers first half today, so I imagine he's a millionaire now #yourewelcome @caseysgenstore