Comic, Magician (Fooled Penn & Teller) & Libertarian Much more importantly: Christian, Hubby of 1, Dad of 7, Adoption Advocate.

Atlanta, GA
Joined March 2011
The Obligatory Pinned Tweet I'm on X mostly to vent about life & politics stuff, particularly from my libertarian world view. And some comedy/magic stuff, too.
9
755
"Men do not make laws. They do but discover them. Laws must be justified by something more than the will of the majority. They must rest on the eternal foundation of righteousness." —Calvin Coolidge, "Have Faith in Massachusetts," 1914.
3
40
252
13,219
On what planet is telling a woman she looks like Foxy Brown an insult? This woman will cherish this memory eternally and internally. The recollection of your words will comfort her soul through her personal Sloughs of Despond. Well done, Uncle FJ. Well done.
At a corporate event with a 60's theme, so everyone is dressed up. I passed a lady with a huge Afro and cool attire who looked great and so I said: "Foxy Brown! Slap me five." She wasn't dressed up for the event. She was simply staying in the hotel. I'm an idiot.
1
2
93
Back in 2004, I went to the Libertarian Party convention in Atlanta, and after the long weekend decided that I would not join. The people who run it are just too removed from the rest of the movement and the rest of the society. They didn't give shit about Iraq! the most important thing in the world at the time. Hardly heard of it apparently. Didn't know how horrible it would look invite hawks to give speeches. Just facepalm. I tried advising the LP presidential nominee that year. That reinforced the same lesson: This is not worth the effort. I have more important things to do. A few years ago, I finally joined the LP at the urging of my friends who were working to take the party over in the name of the actual American libertarian movement, as exemplified by the thinking and writing of Dr. Ron Paul, especially. The real point was to get the party together before we ran Dave Smith for president, which he thankfully in retrospect decided not to do. Well, at the last convention the libertarians didn't show up, only the Libertarians. So, a gay porn producer and new wave haircut lady and their crew took the party back over. It really sucks because there are so many good people in the party who work very hard and fight good fights. But the organization itself, as a democracy, is just completely retarded and it always will be. Today a friend sent me screenshots of these degenerate scum -- specifically the LP of San Francisco -- claiming the right to hurt children because they think freedom means getting away with being a piece of shit and violating the rights of helpless victims. Send in the SWAT Team. It's a foregone conclusion that the party leadership will do nothing about this. The LP always has been and remains a disaster for the good name of our movement. They'll probably run that filth Joe Walsh for president next time. He fits right in there. So I hereby officially resign from the Libertarian Party, and will instead continue to fight for liberty by other means.
188
249
45
2,775
100,155
I flew @AirCanada this weekend. I received the typical "tell us about your flight survey" email. Because I wanted to give a shout out to the rep that helped recover my lost bag, I did it. Now here's the annoying part. It was long and several pages weren't worth my time to do. I wanted to praise an employee, not spend 10 minutes doing customer research for Air Canada. When I tried to skip a page, the screen responded with "This page is required." No. Not one part of this is required. Not. One. I volunteered to do it. Air Canada, give the lost bag person at Saint John a raise from the money you make firing the guy that designed the survey.
3
29
5,715
Replying to @AirCanada
@AirCanada lost my luggage yesterday. I still don’t have it. The bag has an Apple air tag in it. The bag hasn’t moved. So not only don’t I have a bag, I also don’t have faith in Air Canada.
1
1
100
Faith restored. I have my bag. Big shout out to Jorge at Saint John. @AirCanada, please double his pay.
4
29
Yep
“It is safer for a great man to rob a country, than for a poor man to steal a loaf” Thomas Gordon knew that game was rigged. If you have power, you get away with all kinds of crimes far more often than if you don't.
1
1
53
If Winston Smith and Peter Griffin had a kid, they’d have a HomeView.
This is the worst thing I have ever seen.
35
Doc Dixon retweeted
Replying to @jeremykauffman
Have seven kids. Adopt if you have to.
1
2
234
Angela’s energy supplement routine might be healthier than mine, but this works for me: ✔️Caffeine ✔️Knowing if I don’t get the stuff done it won’t get done ✔️Eggs ✔️Ogling the Mrs. ✔️Barbells 3 x a week ✔️Spite
My energy supplement routine: Rho Liposomal NAD+ Rho Liposomal Creatine Shilajit Prenatal vitamins Single shot espresso with raw milk, manuka honey and collagen peptides, twice daily Occasionally: liposomal glutathione, B12 shot
1
71
Good essay from @JustinWolfers: "My Libertarian Friends Were Right" "My libertarian-leaning friends have consistently argued against a powerful federal government in favor of individual freedoms. I had — somewhat naively — never taken their views seriously enough. My friends who worked in government were good people, I reasoned, and surely that’s true more broadly. "But I’ve had to admit to my libertarian friends that they were right. Concentration of power can be abused. We’re seeing it happen right now."
32
85
20
441
89,355
The toughest part of having Foreign Language Syndrome is when you have it, an hour later you want to have it again.
The strange case of Sarah Colwill, the woman who suffered a stroke and later developed Foreign Language Syndrome, a rare condition with no clear cause. When she woke up, her local Plymouth accent had disappeared, leaving her with a Chinese accent.
3
288
The reason they call them “red eye flights” is “sucks to be six foot three and stuck for five hours in a seat built for Billy Barty next to some guy that thinks flip flops are appropriate plane footwear” is too wordy.
1
3
100
Doc Dixon retweeted
Libertarian values: 1. Don’t Hurt People 2. Don’t Take Their Stuff 3. Take Responsibility 4. Work For It 5. Mind Your Own Business 6. Fight the Power If you disagree with any one of these, please tell me why in the comments.
374
297
50
2,156
70,511
This guy is the CEO of Flock He takes pictures of you and hands them over to the cops But, he doesn’t want you to know what he looks like PLEASE do NOT share his photo!
1,836
72,036
1,428
144,868
2,825,042
Coming up next: On a very special episode of Penn & Teller Fool Us …
How is this even possible? Writer: Ian
1
3
101
The part at the end when the bug peels off the latex mask to reveal he’s Martin Landau …
Tom Cruise: I do my own stunts Bug: hold my beer bitch
1
3
153
Doc Dixon retweeted
Good luck with that.
26
58
5
440
4,874
Almost everyone I serve with. There are some brave exceptions, but not many.
240
1,376
69
7,350
180,850
Cannot wait
First trailer for the Norm Macdonald documentary — directed by Judd Apatow. Releasing October 16 on Netflix.
1
1
5
395