A German Shepherd dog guarding his farm. The dog, the myth, the legend. One dog's perspective on the world. Bears are wussies. #animaltwt

The Farm
Joined June 2024
As I toss you like grenade
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Barked to be let outside. realized it was raining. Demanded to be let back in. This isn't my fault.
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Everyone’s winding down for the night. Too bad the bed’s not big enough for how much I love you. -Dog
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I'm not hiding. I'm ready to ambush.
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Accidentally knocked the broom over tonight. Fell with a CRASH. Did I handle it well? No. Was I brave? Also no. I lost at least six weeks of life. Do we need to repeat this story ever again? Absolutely not.
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good night, everyone. Just remember a cold nose in the middle of the night is a small price to pay for the warmth a dog will bring to your home.
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I hear moaning and sighing. Mom assures me it's the wind. I looked out the window anyway, to see a plastic bag fly by. We are now at Defcon-1.
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At exactly 5:30 pm I went to my food bowl for dinner. Found it empty. At 5:33 I issued three protest barks. Still no dinner. at 5:35, I collapsed from starvation.
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Replying to @MeThySquirrel
@MeThySquirrel you will release my Duke and Marshal @DogOutOfControl immediately or I’m declaring war and calling in my ally’s, don’t try to negotiate either release him straight up or I’m nuking you and the kingdom you serve
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Replying to @thelionatlas
@thelionatlas @KingAtlasOffice @MeThySquirrel just reminding all of you that as a vassal in the Grand Principality of Mothistan @DogOutOfControl has diplomatic immunity and is untouchable by your office and kingdom without my consent
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I got absolutely cooked. Good dog.
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It is so hard to choose. I want to try them all. If I ever win the lottery, there will be signs. @mooseincrisis @Imjustasquirel @bearlyable2 @Bisontwting @trashincrisis
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The squirrels are surrounding my farm in a pre-dawn raid. I'm not going down easily. I'm going down in a blaze of glory. Avenge me! @urlocaldoggy @dogtwitstoo
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Look, I know I barked at that plastic bag. But it was a very sketchy, very suspicious bag that wouldn't tell me why it was on my territory.
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Chick shaking it like last meal 😭😭😭
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Dog retweeted
Replying to @omgsidewalks
Thanks @DogOutOfControl and the rest of #animaltwt
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Yes, humanity. You are welcome.
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That's nothing. I posted the complete sextape.
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nope, dog with holy water cannot vanquish me🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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