Danisha Keating

Brokenness can be found everywhere. It’s not hard to find evil. Be the good. Be the light.

10 years ago, I became the legal guardian of 5 of my siblings in my 500 square foot apartment. This was our first Christmas together. I had no money at all. On December 15th, 2015, a friend asked if I was home and I said, “yes.” She said “awesome! My brother and his wife are dropping by with something for you. Please be home..” And in walked this couple with a Christmas tree. And another family called me and said, “the kids want to give you their decorations.” And another friend called and said, “my kids want to give you $100 to buy presents for your siblings.” I remember decorating the house and thinking it looks so sad, yet so beautiful because it was at least a little peace in the storm. I placed the gifts under the tree and each sibling had one gift. It wasn’t much but at least it was something. And I waited for Christmas. Community can change the way we feel hardships. We can bless people with something so small as a tree and decorations. I will forever remember the last 10 years and all that God has done.

When someone makes their mind up, it is nearly impossible to get them to listen. They have to be willing to hear what you have to say.

Organizations: Do you want people to take you seriously when you say “we protect children and stand with the victim”? Answer: Don’t let your attorney argue that it was the child’s responsibility to mitigate their own abuse..

The sad reality of being the first to go through the healing process from the generations of family trauma is that you’ll go alone and you’ll hear all of the lies that are told about you simply because you told the truth. Some of the lies will be outrageous. Some of the lies will be truths that were twisted with just a little bit of a lie. But any time you try to confront them for lying, you’ll be told -“you just don’t remember it” - “I don’t ever remember that happening.” - “what movie or book did you get that from??” - “it was a joke” - “you’re just so sensitive!” - “if you don’t like our family, why don’t you just leave??” - “you don’t know how bad it was for me!” - “you’re hurting me by bringing this up!” The sad reality is that you’ll often have to process the healing on your own. You may not get answers to the questions you have or what really happened. And it seems like asking a bunch of different members of the family, only leads to confusion because they all remember a different part but most of it doesn’t align. It’s hard to be the first person to go through healing but it’s worth it. Don’t carry the wounds of the people before you. Heal them so those who come after you, don’t have to heal what broke you.

Let’s be honest: we don’t know how to do relationships anymore. We relay on social media to keep up with people or we ask others how so and so is doing, instead of reaching out to people. I’ve had the same phone number for 12 years and yet, the calls and texts are less than the social media likes. I miss relationships but when I expressed that to someone I was close to, they told me they didn’t need to call or text me. And that’s when I knew we weren’t close and they weren’t interested in a friendship anymore. They were interested in likes and follows, and the appearance of a friendship. Life is too lonely. We need to go back to dinners and backyard conversations. Relaying on social media is not a friendship.

I’m glad they are doing this. In California, we have until 40, BUT at 36, it’s daunting and a lot… it’s taken me years to heal and then I’m not reopening this and trying to get everything I can remember for my story. I wish there wasn’t an age cap at all. It’s too much.

Healing is a long road. Running from your pain will not help you heal. Covering it, won’t help you heal. And waiting for it to just go away, won’t help either. I’ve found that I have to slowly dig into it with the right people. I remember someone telling me that I needed to lay it all out there by sharing it with them and they’d help me process. They ended up sharing it all with others. It’s important to share things in the right places with the right people. Not everyone is safe to process with and they are not capable of holding what we went through. I’m also finding that time was needed. Time away from the actual survival. I need time in a safe environment to be able to slowly unpack everything. And I’ve had to unpack everything in small portions. Over the last 3 years, I’ve unpacked stuff I refused to touch 5 years ago. I’ve been able to dig into information without feeling like my world is crumbling around me because the people around me are safe. I’ve been able to unpack a lot of hurt, without it taking down the tools I’ve used to hold me up. I’ve been able to tear down the walls and build up better tools around me, which helped me from falling flat on my face. And slowly, over the last 3 years, I’ve felt that I can breathe again. It isn’t perfect. There’s still ptsd, panic, and anxiety. There’s still fears. There’s still hurt and disappointment. But it’s not holding my face to the fire and burning me. I’m safe on this side and being able to process things differently. Healing cannot be rushed. I have to be able to process what I hear over time and not all at once.

Happy thanksgiving!

I’m not going to say the right things but here is a thought that came to me today. I often give Satan too much power over my thoughts and actions. I have a lot of anxiety over ways Satan can try to come at me but all of what happens is in God’s knowledge. Satan cannot force me into something. He can come to steal, kill, and destroy but he does not get authority to do so without submission to God. He isn’t trying to take out your ministry. He doesn’t want your position. He wants God’s. He wants to be like God, not you. He wants to take you out because you worship God. He can whisper into your ear a lie with some truth, but he cannot force your hand into sin. He can tempt you, but you have free will to stay and entertain the temptation or walk away and submit to God. I’m speaking to myself. I spiral mentally off of a fear. I entertain the full spiral. It’s my job to go to Jesus. It’s my job to sit with Jesus and speak truth of his word over my mind and soul. I’m trying to run to Jesus more than to the spiral.

This message is for me too.

I may not have had a good father or even a decent one. I didn’t grow up in a good home at all and I was so scared to be a parent because I was afraid I’d somehow be what my parents were. But my God blessed me with an amazing husband. My children will know an amazing father. My daughter will know what a good man is. My son will know what it means to be a good man. You may not have chosen your parents, but you get to choose your spouse. Choose wisely.

What should I do?! My daughter is literally forcing my grand babies to be iPad kids!

There’s so many things I want to say but also…. I’m not willing to give my breath or energy to people who won’t listen.

It’s abuse. Call cps.. This is not discipline.

This year had been one of a lot of growth and a lot of rest. I took a big step back from a lot of things. I recentered my heart. I took time to reevaluate what was on my plate. And I dug into deeper healing. I also started growing another human being. And raising another incredible one. Often times, we think the growth is about taking on more or doing something new, but sometimes the growth is stepping back and resetting. The reset is super important and necessary. What got us through our 20s, doesn’t work for our 30s. What got us through survival, will not build us safety. What is on your plate that no longer serves a purpose but steals your energy and destroys your spirit? The step back is the step up.

Hi. I’m Danisha. And I have something vulnerable to share. I have PTSD from everything I’ve been through. 2020 was a huge trigger for me that reminded me too much of my childhood. And the more people argue and fight, or become combative- makes me want to run and hide. Why? Because it’s way too familiar to what I grew up in. There are times that you will have to remove yourself from rooms and groups because it’s impacting your mind, body, and soul. It may even be a fun experience that your body is registering as a threat. PTSD is heavy. It’s not just a little memory, sometimes it brings you right back into the moment. PTSD is not weak. The body and mind did what it had to do to survive, and then once you were in a safer place, your mind and body started to process and continued to stay on high alert to help you be aware of danger. The hard part is that your body and mind processed everything as a potential threat. PTSD is hard. It’s not easy. And you’re not broken. And it’s ok to not be ready to dig into it. You’ll process when you’re ready to process it.

Here we go again… the Epstein files. Everybody wants them, including the victims themselves but there’s laws that restrict what can be released…. Even to the victim. I have 420 pages of a cps file that is all about me. I can only get 30-40 pages that are visible. I requested the county for the full and unredacted file, it was denied. I went to a judge and it was denied. Why? Because there are countless laws that are in place that protects the information of the file. Police reports, medical reports, mandated reports, people’s names and addresses. Even though it all has to do with me, it will not be released to me. The judge and county sent me 3 pages of laws of why this information is not mine to have…. Even though it’s about me. Yes, it’s frustrating but because it deals with the government and what they do and how they do it, I cannot have it. So, if the victim cannot have the unredacted records, why should the public be able to have it? Sorry, but I would rather fight for the victims getting their own file instead of news outlets. That’s just my opinion.