Headteacher. Parent. Currently caught between real life and parody. A Brass Eye take on education.
Living in a version of England
Joined December 2020
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The good news is that the Education Secretary will be offering military support, to help headteachers sweep up a million pupils.
The bad news is that schools will have to pay for their Chinooks out of existing budgets.
I set up this Dystopian Headteacher account in December 2020, which was 21 months ago or 4 Education Secretaries, in non-standard units of measurement.
"Rail strikes will punish millions of innocent people" says government which specialises in punishing millions of innocent people.
If Sue Gray's report doesn't mention Black Lace's classic album Party, Party, I for one will be very disappointed.
I'm almost certain they will have been doing Agadoo, Superman and The Conga during their many Worky, Worky gatherings in Downing Street.
"Keeping Children Safe in Education" is all encompassing.
Having to explain ourselves for wanting to keep children safe in education is utterly absurd.
"Excuse me! Hello! Mr Zahawi! The DfE! Anyone! Can you hear us?
It's Early Years, Primary and Special here. We think you might have forgotten about us...."
@secretHT1
@Headteacherchat
When the Education Secretary writes a letter to all education & childcare leaders, it's as pointless, indulgent and welcome as one those Xmas round robin letters from someone you once knew.
At last, here is the latest guidance for schools, from the DfE....
😆
@PaulGarvey4
@chrisdysonHT
@LeeHillFCCT
Good news! The Government is making 7000 air cleaning units available. That's enough for almost 1 in 3 education settings.
To be in with a chance of winning some additional safety for your children and staff, please enter at nationalschoolscovidlottery.…
Good luck!👍
@cyclingkev
In the interest of consistency, the Government has been debating whether to make shops open their windows or pupils to wear masks in secondary classrooms. They've reluctantly gone with the latter...
Customers and staff wouldn't like cold shops at all.
In this image, which looks a little like a disaster movie evacuation scene, thousands of volunteers and retired teachers are scrambling to get to the safety of a classroom, to help prepare for SATs and Ofsted.
@DeputyMitchell
If the Prime Minister spent less time lying and more time leading, we'd all be in a better place right now.
DystopianHeadteacher retweeted
Simple poll for all educators in #Edutwitter.
Do you think that @Ofstednews support schools?
Please RT for a huge poll.
7%Yes
93%No
1,006 votes • Final resultsIf headlice were spreading through our schools at the same rate as Covid-19, the whole country would be up in arms!
The level of itching and nit-combing would be intolerable.
@DynamicDeps
@PaulGarvey4
@tes
@ICT_MrP
@cyclingkev
Apart from having no integrity and no values, being incompetent, dishonest and untrustworthy, failing to lead by example and having no grasp on reality, Matt Hancock makes a great Health Secretary.