Ethan (locked)

cute cat kitty cat

I know what’s wrong with me I just don’t feel Like fixing this or anything anymore I just want my consciousness to stop I will make sure it does this time

I’ve only now become conscious again this is the only true person inside my head the other people are lies to arouse the people around me but I don’t care anymore do what you want because you’re not real none of you are

None of this is real that’s the only truth they tricked us into believing you can’t die they don’t know you to know ur immortal to make you scared

I just like to walk and forget I exist if I never see a mirror again with my face in it I will be okay

I don’t care about any of you

It’s really the only reason I’ve hurt myself, the longer I’ve gone "clean" from mutilating myself, the less real life has felt, the worse the desire to not exist nor be conscious has become, if I bleed, I am real, if those scars close & heal, how do I know I’m not just wires?

I am not like the others. I don’t want to become a doctor to help others, I purely want to attain knowledge & prove my spot in this world, perhaps if I can achieve that, see another person inside, and there is organs, what gives them life, I will feel real too

dpdr made it I can’t feel empathy much for others anymore I can mask kindness but really in the end I don’t care much for others suffering because they’re not real inside my mind nothing you can say will make me feel real or care for you

this perfectly explains how DPDR & psychosis feels it’s too scary to tell someone you know that incase of the bad things that will happen to the universe

the people under this tweet are pissing me the fuck off if you’re so scared of a intake over 1000 & wanna eat 300 calories and do 50k steps than binge a entire cake at night and wonder why you won’t lose for months that do that nobody’s stoping you I don’t fucking care

This ratio’d my OG post made with pure hate this is proof love always wins

The Space In Between by how to destory angels scratches that itch in my brain

I’m not exaggerating if you want good triggering ED songs don’t look for teen girl sad songs when this is right here

For dinner I am having baby shrimp with baby carrots baby tomatoes baby broccoli and a soy sauce white wine vinegar light mayo sauce

realizing if I can dissociate while purging I can also dissociate while starving so I don’t have to B/P & destory my body in the violent way #iguessbro

After 5 months my headphones finally told me I have low battery these mfs have been at 70% for half my lifespan