Ellz

My grand unified theory of British politics is really simple. They're retards. That's it, that's the theory. I would say on average, 4 times per week, something will happen and someone will ask me my opinion, and I'll say well what do you think happened, and I'll hear some labyrinthine conspiracy theory about internecine factional warfare, and who is donating to who, and who owes who money, and who is shagging which journalist, and I'll say - ok, but have you considered: the guy is just a fucking retard? And no one can compete with the simple mathematical elegance of this theory. "Why do you think Keir Starmer resigned, do you think Big Right Wing is pulling the strings" (ideas conceived by the mentally deranged) No. I think he's a fucking dipshit. Remember when Boris and the Tories let millions of the lowest skilled people in the world into Britain? And everyone was clutching their pearls going 'oh what do they know, is the polling bad? Is it over?' and it turned out - no, they were just fucking retarded. Like if you start out from this simple truth, 'they're all retarded' and you base all your political assumptions on that, you will be happier, you will be better off, you will be right most of the time, people will think you're possessed of preternatural insight, if you simply read the news and see what guys in Westminster are doing and say 'they're doing that because they are retarded'. I used to keep this a secret because I like grifting retainers out of having some secret occult knowledge about British politics but it's getting to be too much - so I'm just going to start publicising it. They're retarded. That's it, that's the secret. Use that knowledge, vote on the basis of that knowledge, make every significant decision in your life based on this simple truth - your politicians are fucking retarded.