Bracing out there.

Happy Agincourt day.

“If I find out it was you, you’re dead. Anyway, I’m off to bingo”

Bin men only took half the recycling.

If a single pupil knows anything about your political leanings you’re a failure as a teacher.

I was watching a documentary about HMS Victory earlier and this was a toilet for the sailors up on the Beak deck. Imagine trying to have a turnout on there in a bit of a swell? Makes you proud to be British.

Pfffft. Few items from the British museum down Cash Converters and a couple of payday consolidation loans will sort that right out.

Has Dan Snow been on yet to tell us the crew were ackchyually not all English but made up of a melting pot of English, Celts, a Liberian theatre troupe and a few lesbians?

Fancy a country needing a campaign for this to happen.

I hate anti social pricks like this but with the current state of this country it’s a bit like walking up to a lad halfway through being hung, drawn and quartered and asking him if he needs a plaster.

Try saying that to your Mrs when you’re late home from the pub let alone running a country that’s on fire you weak throbber.

This wanker just said Brexit is responsible for the German economy tanking.

“Good morning Mrs Howard. I hear the Scout troop burned the church down and looted the tailors last night”

Windows all flung open overnight as has been the norm for the past 6 months weather but there was a proper dip in temperature last night. Haven’t felt this chilly at home since I tripped over pissed in front of brand new neighbours years ago.

My mum is in a physio unit for people with old timers disease. She’s convinced the Doris in the bed opposite lives across from her in a bungalow she quite fancies moving into and was berating my brother for not bringing a wheelchair to bust her out before the other lady leaves🤦‍♂️

Are there still loads of fights going on when lads go out or has the recent swordplay you hear of tempered it all? Whether in a city or a market town years ago you’d nearly always see night time punch ups.