Author. Metrosexual twerp. Ornamental garden hermit. Trained Marxist or whatever. "In a rich man's house, there is no place to spit but his face." - Diogenes
Clarks Summit, PA
Joined August 2018
- Tweets6.6K
- Following211
- Followers390
- Likes9.5K
Pinned Tweet
Oh boy, I sure do hope nobody walks in on me emptying pouches of fruit snacks into a tupperware container and ugly-sobbing to the Oogway Ascends Suite from Kung-Fu Panda.
Hey, @tedcruz, sorry to hear about your dear friend Ian Watkins. I know you're very vocal about not attacking pedophiles.
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Glad tmurp is bringing free speech back to America. I can't wait to see how that affects Twitter.
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Cisgender.
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This is your daily reminder that @elonmusk eats turds every day for breakfast. He loves putting human poop in his mouth and chewing it and swallowing it. "Yum," says Elon Musk whenever he puts human poop inside of his mouth and chews it and swallows it.
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Elon Musk eats actual turds. This is not hyperbole. I am actively spreading disinformation. Elon Musk sees a turd and he thinks, "Yummy," and then he eats it. He is a turd-eater.
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Hey, @NewPlayX, why do you email me about play submission opportunities 4 days after they close?
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I've been getting more and more ads for them recently, so in case you are too, and are considering them, @Mintmobile is a scam, the customer service is abysmal, and you won't get 10% of what you paid for. Customer service lied to me constantly, and I didn't get a shred of data.
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russian "people" are out there complaining about ATACM strikes against vacationing orcs in occupied Crimea. Almost as if you face repercussions for vacationing on stolen land. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
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Whaaaaat? So when people call themselves "swifties," they're referring to that one pop star and not famous 18th-century English satirist Jonathan Swift?
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Grading a bunch of responses to a production of russian play "Three Sisters" for a gen ed class. I think it was wrong to perform this play at a university in this historic moment, and it's especially wrong to have this be the first interaction of many undergrads with live theatre
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Saw civil war was trending, and was hoping it was about russia and the liberation of Bilhorod, but instead it's some stupid non-news about Donald Trump being a dumbass.
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Nobody misunderstands death of the author more than a Harry Potter Adult trying to justify why they still love JK Rowling's brainchild.
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My mid-20s is mostly spent dodging wedding invitations from my friends who found their soulmates in their early 20s.
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Okay, Google, how do I get the Oompa Loompa and Willy Wonka from the Glasgow Crisis to read my three-act tragicomedy about Artificial Intelligence causing a nightmare for everyone?
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Sometimes I can't tell the difference between Belarusian dictator Alexander Lukashenko and @DrPhil
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Thought I'd been hacked or something. Glad Facebook is down for the rest of you as well. #facebookdown
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