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Since we’re all back in the office we are considering knocking up the final FLOV table for the entire season…

Sigh. Just as we were all beginning to enjoy retirement.

This has tempted the FLOV out of retirement.

We have 3 weeks worth of reports to work through but we’re going to be at it for the next 8 hours to bring you the super FLOV you were promised and the country deserves. Thank you for your patience and we’ll see you tonight. We’ll also publish an as it stands FLOV for the season.

While we appreciate nothing more than a grass at FLOVHQ, we can’t properly function as an organisation if our old, fairly innocuous tweets, are reported resulting in our account suspended. We have our suspicions on who this individual is and are continuing gathering information.

DMs are now open for scouting reports and we’d just like to express our eternal gratitude to all scouts who filed reports while we were out of action for the last week. Rest assured they will be included in Sunday’s Super FLOV. We’ll also publish the seasons table as it stands.

After this mornings meeting of senior partners the following fixtures have been classified high risk: Aberdeen V Hearts, Dundee Utd v St Mirren, Stranraer v Stirling Albion, Partick Thistle v Dundee, Hamilton v Ayr Utd, QOTS v Falkirk and Dunfermline v FC Edin. Stay safe everyone

Our scouts have spoken.

We have some decisions to make and the team has decided to put it to a vote. Democracy

Aiming to release around 9pm. Expect Aberdeen, Rangers, Dunfermline, FC Edinburgh, Celtic and Ayr United to feature prominently.

Suppose we better get working on the latest FLOV then.

The events last night at EEP are truly some of the most downright appalling we’ve ever witnessed. The Dunfermline fans making light of this need to take a good look at themselves. Utter vermin.

Tonight’s fixture at EEP is the first time the FLOV will be sending our four most senior grasses (pictured below) to the same stadium at the same time. In cases like this FLOV article 6.13 states that we’re required to have a designated survivor at a top secret secure location.

We’ve seen some fairly despicable scenes this weekend, the attempted murder of Jim Goodwin as an example, but the intentional defecation, on what essentially amounts to a Petri dish, is literally a biological attack. Our anti terrorism task force is in attendance as we speak.

We often get asked, “does Scottish football really need the FLOV?” With Cosa Nostrian attitudes such as this still rife within the sport it’s evident the answer is a resounding yes.

Afternoon scouts. After the conclusion of this mornings meeting we’ve designated the following fixtures as high risk: Dundee Utd v Aberdeen, Cove v Dundee, Ayr v ICT, Thistle v Raith, Montrose v Clyde and Dunfermline v Alloa. Stay safe and DMs now open for scouting reports