Retro football writing from Football Bloody Hell. Long reads, classic matches and forgotten heroes, with new stories every week. ⚽📼
Football's past
Joined October 2012
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Before FM, there was Champ Man 99/00 and a Mansfield save I couldn't stop thinking about. So I wrote it up as a comic diary novel: Johnny Cooper – Championship Manager.
Kindle, £1.99 until 31 October, then £2.99: amazon.co.uk/dp/B00N9Z74SY
Paperback: amazon.co.uk/dp/1501040448
"London Road smells of onions and overconfidence."
Peterborough away, after half a week of Barry Fry on the blower haggling over one of my players. Some lines write themselves when the game hands you Barry Fry.
"The lads turn up in sombreros because they’ve heard I’m scouring South America."
Every save has the moment you go all in on one country's bargain bin. Johnny's was South America, hoping someone would take £500 a week. #CM9900
"Stace reckoned it was the best night of football nobody came to see."
Golden goal, a few hundred in the ground, their keeper having the game of his life. If you ever played a cup tie in front of nobody on Champ Man, you'll know the feeling.
My book, Johnny Cooper – Championship Manager (written as Chris Darwen): a made-up Mansfield season, dictated by Championship Manager.
Revised and expanded, on Kindle at £1.99 until 31 October, then £2.99.
amazon.co.uk/dp/B00N9Z74SY
Back in 2014 I wrote the diary of a Mansfield Town season that never happened: Johnny Cooper, a made-up manager, doing exactly what Championship Manager told him. It's now out as a revised and expanded 2026 edition. The save you wish you'd written down.
xV is the ‘Expected Violence’ against women when England play.
It can rise by up to 38% if England lose, and 26% if they win.
The xV Tracker updates xV live with every moment on the pitch.
Help us bring down the xV at theunspokenstat.com
Settle a classic pub debate. Malcolm Marshall bowling to The Don on a lightning-fast WACA deck in 1979. Who honestly comes out on top over a 5-match Test series?
I got tired of just guessing, so I spent the last few weeks building a text-based cricket match simulator called The Greats to calculate these exact legendary matchups using real, historical career data. It is designed to feel like a lost PC management game from 1995—completely focused on stats, strategy, and cricket history.
Before we launch the full version, I need a few passionate cricket historians to test out the simulation engine this week. I want to see if the statistical match results line up with your real cricket memories. It runs completely free on your PC web browser for the next 7 days.
Comment below if you want to run a few drafts, and I will reply to you directly with our pavilion website link!
@Zohaib1981 @GoldenAgeCrickt @ACScricket @hcc_cricket @OldMonkOfCric @PictureSporting @NoContextCounty @RetroGamer_Mag @RetroGamerArt
For as long as cricket has existed, we’ve argued about the impossible.
🏏 What if Bradman had faced Anderson?
🏏 Could Malcolm Marshall dismiss Virat Kohli?
🏏 Would Shane Warne get Jack Hobbs out?
🏏 Is Sobers really the greatest all-rounder?
🏏 Who actually belongs in the greatest Test XI of each nation?
I’ve been building a game around those questions.
The Greats lets you draft the greatest Test cricketers from every era, captain them through a World Test Championship career and finally play out the debates we’ve all had for decades.
We’re almost ready for a private alpha.
I’m looking for passionate cricket fans who’ll give honest feedback and help shape the game.
If that’s you, reply below or send me a DM.
Some arguments are too good to stay arguments.
Oh, and that box cover below - it's not real (obviously) but does hopefully get that whole 90s computer games feeling flowing...
#Cricket #TestCricket #CricketGaming #RetroGaming #TheGreats
🤖 Made with AI
Tell you what, I'd pick that as the squad for the first Test against Pakistan
So far, the names I’ve seen people suggest should be replacement Test Captain include:
Sam Curran
Ben Foakes
Rehan Ahmed
Jacob Bethell
Joe Root
Shoaib Bashir
Gus Atkinson
Sir James Anderson
Sir Alastair Cook
Kieran Carlson
Sam Billings
Haseeb Hameed
Rory Burns
Will Jacks
Ollie Pope
James Vince
It’s a bit of a pickle isn’t it?
There's a new version of this post
Not that anyone asked, but here's my take...
Bazball worked initially because it was much easier to liberate players who had previously been shackled - Stokes, Root, Bairstow, Anderson, Broad etc.
Plus there was a very experienced group of players in situ - see above.
Bringing the next generation in who haven't had to "suffer" in the sense of playing the more traditional style of Test cricket means that they've ended up being too free and gone too far because they are not shedding any previous weight of what has happened to them playing the "old way".
That, plus when you look at the current team - other than Stokes and Root, there's hardly a leader out there. Stokes used to have at least five other captains to lean on.
Oh, and the fact that - like in all sport - teams were surprised initially, overwhelmed for a while and then figured out ways to fight back.
