Woman of misc. heritage & exotic ‘fro - Old enough to be your mother - Pro-Am carer - ‘Buxom menace’ - ‘Like Vera Drake’ - https://xitter.cf/t.co/sKj6Ughk8A
Cambridgeshire, England
Joined June 2010
- Tweets47.2K
- Following1.3K
- Followers4.2K
- Likes71.3K
Looks like I’m watching the Ali G movie tonight.
To add insult to injury, I will be attending the cinema with a 17 year old in full Ali G costume.
Might lie and tell him I couldn’t find 2 seats together.
Reminds me of the 8 armed police in full body armour poised and ready to shoot when neighbour reported ‘armed men in the village’.
It was my 12 year old son and his friend playing with a Nerf gun on the driveway.
Took months to get them to drop the case.
Six police surround myself and my wife and arrest us at home. This is from the police bodycam footage. We’re currently taking action against Bedfordshire police for this outrageous arrest. Myself and my wife were clearly soft targets, not exactly hardened criminals but they handcuffed both anyway …all charges dropped after a couple of months with no apology or explanation. The children were terrorised and they’ll never trust the police again.
I’ve always survived on 4 hours of interrupted sleep on a good night.
Since being ill I’m sleeping 10 hours every night and it’s still not enough.
Can’t tell if I’m broken or fixed.
I have no problem with people peeing in the shower but hearing someone blowing their nose in the shower makes me want to vom.
Thrilled to have viral pneumonia via influenza.
Also woke up with one eye shut so conjunctivitis too.
Tamiflu and Chloramphenicol now in system.
I look like a bedraggled pirate. All limbs present and correct, so far.
I am obsessed with punctuality.
One minute late this morning, due to getting my hair caught in the bathroom light pull-cord thing. AGAIN.
East of Eden was a welcome distraction during my confinement.
I won’t review it but definitely recommend it.
Problem Child retweeted
Just gonna have to call it: Jesus would not be pro public executions. Given everything that … happened.
Do you remember that swallowing thing Bob Monkhouse used to do? Looked for a nanosecond as if he might be shedding his skin like a snake?
I’m now doing that every few seconds because my throat is so inflamed.
Because All Hallows’ Eve approacheth, I’m going to tell you the scariest thing that ever happened to me.
Audio and video to follow once I can speak again.
No, it’s not my wedding video.
Daughter went to see Dylan Moran on tour in Copenhagen. Said it was the best stand up she’s ever seen.
Also….
